I want to make sure you guys know that Yugioh 5Ds won’t be covered for a while maybe not until 2026 or 2025. So this will have to satisfy you for now!
Yugioh GX Season 4 takes place one month after the events of season 3. It never got dubbed into English? The main bad guy is Darkness itself. Is it the weakest season? Yes. 4kids managed to cut one episode of Season 3 recapping the events.
This season might have the coolest theme but it’s only 24 episodes and concludes with undecided duel between Jaden and Yugi. On the whole, I actually enjoyed Yugioh GX more than the original Yugioh
If you haven’t seen season 4, please watch it. It will answer all your questions!
Welcome to Season 3! Season 3 introduces Jesse Anderson, A Crystal Beast user. Turns out this one thing is this season Jaden becomes the bad guy. This season is actually messed up because of the villain. Did I like it? Yes. But is it good, yes. Did it measure up? Yes! See you next time for the final season!
The society of light arc is probably the most exciting arc to air in English. This was one of the better seasons. Everyone gets brainwashed and this season introduces Hassleberry. It’s also a lot of fun to follow. I really enjoyed myself this time around.
Plus this season ends up being ending on a high note. Next up the 12 Dimensions arc
Mature content! Spoilers! MovieFlame otherwise known as Morgan Ross knows the struggles of Bipolar Depression and in this link, he should know that although my father (Joel Kanter) has asked me to take him my own brother in during my college! Now I respect my girlfriend’s privacy but my brother also has ADHD and Dyslexia and so did a friend of mine who passed away 7 years ago to suicide!
When the suicide first happened, I was only 27. For those of you who don’t know about the 27 club is, it’s when someone in pop culture loses their life at the age of 27. Now I have no intention of taking my life but I want to make this clear. My girlfriend and I have a plan as far as telling my mom goes, I have a plan!
Morgan is aware that I’m on the Autism Spectrum and has never ONCE treated me like I’m 2! Because this blog post talks about the 27 club talks about people in pop culture, I’m not jealous that Morgan has almost 2 million subscribers, in fact quite the opposite! Although my girlfriend and I haven’t done things like save the date, this is Morgan’s invitation to be a groomsman.
Now even though social media is a powerful asset, I know that Morgan himself isn’t Jewish but JK Rowling has made it clear that she is both Antisemitic and Homophobic. My Uncle Aaron is 73 and although I’m the one with Autism, I’m going to talk about stereotypes within Autism!
Now my girlfriend is a very private person and although I’m older than her, I have a thing for people who are shorter than me. Every person needs someone to celebrate their birthday with and because dates are important to me, my girlfriend met me where I volunteer. Because Morgan has seen my videos and read my blog, I met two people who treat me like family.
Being a nerd is something to be proud of and my 3 greatest accomplishments in life are my swimming with someone named Nelson Amador Jr., Learning to Cook and my standup comedy which I started at the age of 16! Now even though death is a part of life. So is growing up! Although I had to transfer a lot in high school, I predicted my first death in pop culture when I was in 3rd Grade!
College
In College the director told me all people with Asperger’s and Autism are the same, this isn’t true. I wanted to give her a black eye but I didn’t. Although I have to deal with my ex where I volunteer. With my bipolar I trained myself from a young age trained myself to play it up for a laugh.
During college I had to live with my younger brother and I hate him. So why do I don’t like him? My brother is 3 years younger than me but my standup comedy career started in high school and one of my college buddies named Alex has the exact same family background as me, except Alex got bullied by his sister.
Now Morgan’s seen my videos and Standup Comedy helps me overcome social anxiety. Now even though Morgan should I know because I hated the director I did 10 leadership conferences behind her back as well as swimming 72 laps before the pandemic. Now even though my parents are divorced, I’m the family member on the Autism spectrum, Karma got to my dad because the first same sex attraction I experienced now works with him. My mom actually outed me to my Uncle Ralph.
Now even though Morgan’s invited, should he choose to accept, he gets to try Matzoh Ball Soup. Now my girlfriend and I don’t have a date but I proposed to my girlfriend after a trip to my Uncle’s place. Morgan and I actually have the same favorite Harry Potter book but here’s the difference between Morgan and I. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is basically Empire Strikes Back but set in Hogwarts!
Now in college I didn’t actually have very many friends but my memoir will be a physical book! Now even though my greatest strength is my sense of humor, I volunteer in the kitchen and I’ll be honest here, my parents favored my younger brother but my mom has requested a meatloaf dinner.
These days a lot of bullying is done online. Although Morgan knows people on the Autism Spectrum, he should know that I’ve always marched to my own drum and since he’s on the guest list, My lack of eyesight is made up for a stronger memory. Since both of us have Bipolar Disorder, I wasn’t diagnosed until 18! During my 18th birthday I went out for sushi
Now even though I haven’t gotten married, my parents divorce still hurts but the darkest day of my life when someone in my synagogue passed away. I didn’t tell my brother since he’s abused me just for being born. Once my girlfriend and I get married, my next step is to write a book called Shattering the Ice and it won’t shy-away from Antisemitism and Bi-Erasure.
Now even though I’m a comedian, I met an online pen pal named Katie Elokhina who I helped mentor in English. Katie and I have everything in common and I became an uncle at 26. I’m actually Katie’s best friend and
Now my mom was sorted into Hufflepuff but my dad’s a self appointed Gryffindor. I’m a Ravenclaw because my greatest accomplishment after the pandemic is beating my mom at Scrabble. My younger brother is a Slytherin and so was my dog. Now even though My girlfriend’s cute, it’s the height difference I like the most.
Even though My girlfriend hasn’t been to Israel, I hope my parents will accept my boundaries when the two of us get ready to walk down the Aisle.
Because I’m a movie buff and my girlfriend met the brother I always meant to have since I’m a Jewish Chef and Comedian, my dream job in high school was to host Saturday Night Live. Now even though my girlfriend is aware that I’m on the spectrum, we’re going to talk about my best man because it’s time to talk about the things that you didn’t learn about in College!
Now one of the things Nelson told me is that he was a huge Mighty Morphin Power Rangers fan and you should know that Nelson’s Hispanic. My girlfriend is a gamer but coming out to Nelson was hard to do because of political beliefs and I didn’t want it to change what he thought of me.
Now Nelson’s also Autistic but when I heard him laugh, my girlfriend doesn’t want to go to his wedding but when I met him he was impressed that I went to Israel! My memoir won’t shy away from how hard it was to come out. These days a lot of bullying is done online and I’m guilty of some trolling.
Now even though Nelson’s one of my best friends, I never heard the words “I support you!” from either parents. But I noticed signs of Bisexuality in High School. Since Weddings are Expensive. My favorite superheroes aren’t the power rangers, they were the most popular superheroes of my graduating class in high school!
Now there have only been 3 times in my life where I’ve grieved in someone in pop culture. Robin Williams, Carrie Fisher and Kevin Conroy. Now I knew someone who went to Robin’s high school and since this is Morgan’s formal invitation, the woman’s name was Alexandra Olson
Now my comedy career started when I was in high school and I learned to cook when I was 25!
Now even though Morgan hasn’t met me in person yet. Social Media is very toxic but when I get married, my next step is to write a memoir and have a team up with Morgan where he and I team up to do what if Shamylan did Book 3.
Before I came out publicly I was bullied by one of my college buddies and while I support him for leaving the closet. After his departure he became what I call a jerkus maximus.
Now even though I haven’t had a boyfriend, I got bullied for a suicide in 2016.
Now Nelson and Alex both witnessed my brother’s behavior when my dad wanted us to live together. My dad’s from New York and he was the parent that lead to my Autism diagnosis. Both of my parents lead to me having Anxiety, Depression and Bipolar Depression.
The thing I love most about my girlfriend is she allows me to by myself. The reason I can’t stand my brother is because he has taken advantage of my dad’s temper. Now my girlfriend is a black Hobbit.
Since Morgan’s not Jewish the phrase “Tikun Olam” I talked about where I volunteer. Tikun Olam means repair the world. So what should the Sam Kanter/Morgan Ross team up be?
Well it has to be a 4 part mini series between Morgan and myself. First we need to do The last season of Avatar the Last Air Bender. Instead of Legend of Korra it could be something like “Legend of Torah?”
Fact: Torah means Tiger in Japanese and The Torah is the 5 books, Now my girlfriend is Black
Now I’m 6 years older than Morgan and I have a cousin by named Morgan to and the pronouns are (she/her)
Now even though Morgan never met me in person, I volunteer in the kitchen. Harry Potter and the 7 years of Bullshit actually reveals when my birthday is!
Since Morgan’s never been to Seattle, I have a small homework assignment for him. He has to meet me in person because although Seattle is known for The Space Needle, Pike Place Market, I based Draco Malfoy on him and I based Harry on me when I was in the closet. There is one question he has to answer and a place he has to check out because there’s a difference between being in touch with your inner child and being childish.
What is his favorite food?
Here are the two place for him and his wife to check out besides meeting the Missus!
Now I want you to keep this in mind. There’s a lot of toxicity in this world, Autism is a spectrum and even though I’m a comedian the only clowns that don’t scare me are Mr. Mime, Krusty and the Joker. Since Nelson had very prejudiced parents, it wasn’t easy to come out to him. Since Autistics have a stronger memory, my age of realizing I was Bi was 17. Shattering the Ice won’t shy away from Ex-Drama!
All I want to to do for pride is maybe enjoy the summer.
Dick’s Drive In
Dick’s Drive in was Established in 1954. Now I didn’t learn to cook until I stopped living with my brother. Now as Teenagers he gave me a scar on my left hand that looks like a triangle. Should Morgan choose to team up with me. I’m thinking we could do a 4 part Mini Series.
Part 1 will be Season 3 of Last Airbender
Part 2 will be Book 1 of Legend of Korra
Part 3: Can cover Book 2
Part 2 Book 2 of Legend of Korra
Part 3: Can Cover Book 3 of Legend of Korra
Part 4 Will be the final book of Legend of Korra
Even though Morgan met me online, I’m not in high school anymore and although I have my girlfriend, my dream job was hosting Saturday Night Live! Coming out to Nelson was tough because both him and my other college buddy Alex witnessed Toxic Masculinity when I was living with my brother in 2013.
Now I try to avoid foul language except during comedy but when I came out to my parents, I didn’t get “I support you”, my mom made me reveal who it was and my dad got angry with me. My Memoir won’t shy away from how I came to accept myself.
I use Sam’s thoughts to not shy away from the fact that my brother is an asshole and Nelson is one of my best friends and although he had to move to Texas. I did receive a few texts from people and DID get as much closure as one can get but the promise I would make for myself is to spread my comedic muscle.
If Morgan wants to team up with me for “What If Shamylan made Legend of Korra and Last Airbender Book 3?” For the record I got my start in comedy at 16, so it’s not like I’m an amateur. This is also Morgan’s invitation to the wedding. I don’t know when it will be but I look forward to discussing it with my girlfriend more.
The following blog introduces my girlfriend and what’s going to happen and next year I have to tell my mom over a meatloaf lunch to respect my boundaries over a meatloaf lunch. Now even though I’ve been out of the closet for 3 years, there are some stereotypes within Autism and Being Jewish I find annoying. Now my coming out was hard to do with the parents I had! Karma got to my dad and the guy I thought was cute in high school now works with him!
Now I want to make this perfectly clear, my Cousin Steve is Gay but Ron Wasserman (The Composer for Saban in the 90s has read this blog. I’m bi and even though I’m open about it now, my age of realization was high school.) College can’t be discussed on Sam’s thoughts but it has to be an actual book because it’s going to make you laugh and cry. Now I want to make this perfectly clear, my memoir is called Shattering the Ice and I’ve wanted to write it since High School! One thing that’s unique to me that someone my age has noticed is my Romantic side. His name is Tony DeLilis. Tony was the first domestic power rangers fan to help me. The first international power rangers/super sentai fan to help me was Lex Louw.
Last year as we know, we lost Kevin Conroy and Jason David Frank (Batman and Tommy from power rangers) Kevin came out 6 years before his death but even though I stopped watching power rangers a long time ago, Although Jason David Frank’s death was suicide, Ron Wasserman is about to learn where power rangers came from and that’s Japan!
Anime is one of my Autistic interests and last year, college came back to bite me in the ass! I want to make this perfectly clear, I’m scary when I have an anxiety attack. Now I want to make this perfectly clear, I’ve been making people laugh since I was a teenager but even though Zordon is a fictional character, he could get arrested if he didn’t make Andros commit euthanasia!
January
I want to make this clear, my parents told me about their divorce 3 months after our I got out of high school. Making people laugh and learning to cook was the escape I needed from my family. Now behind my parents backs my brother and I would fight. My mom is the overprotective Jewish parent and although she was a bully to my pen pal after my dog died, neither parent said the words, “I support you!” My mom forced my same sex attraction out of me from high school and my dad works with him
My mom got me a gift box to Harry and David and the person she was bullying was my pen pal Katie. Now for my 30th birthday I got to see someone from birthright and although we’re friends, the most important things to me are happy memories and making people laugh over a meal. My mom knows two of my pen pals, Katie and Tony.
Tony first met me online after the divorce and both of his parents are dead. My girlfriend knows I don’t smoke but she drinks responsibly
Before we started dating we went snow tubing where I volunteer
February
Now long time readers know that I’m Jewish and Jewish people and Muslims are the world’s oldest target. If your names are Masar, Noah, Michael B. and Keenan, I might be a wizard in the Kitchen but I’m not a bitch. Since Michael and I are just a year apart in age, Fuzzy was my dragonzord and even though he died when I was in college, While he was alive he was 8 inches tall and weighed 13 pounds and he looked like an Eevee. My Cousin Brian challenged me to read Harry Potter and The Methods of Rationality. Now one thing I hate about Autistic stereotypes, you’re good for one thing and my brother was born the day after my dog died. Now my younger brother actually makes Buzz McCallister (Devin Ratray) from Home Alone look like a saint.
My brother has become even more toxic as he got older but a person who died 7 years ago believes me that he was abusive were my college buddies, Nelson, Alex and Katie. Katie called him a punk. Nelson is also Autistic and Alex helped me leave the closet. During Hanukkah he met my girlfriend but since his family tree is the exact same as mine. We have a new dog on my mom’s side on February 22nd! Her name is Maria and because I took Spanish in high school, she trusts me more than my younger brother.
March
Now I met my girlfriend on March 14th and she’s 5′ 2″ and Black. The way I told her I was Bi is after a phone call with Pride Across the Bridge and as you can see, we’re still together. The reason I’m open about it is because I got abused by a gay guy from college who made me feel like shit after a suicide. Now I came out 3 months into the pandemic and my parents didn’t understand.
Now I was popular in high school, Alex dropped out, Nelson was also popular but my brother thinks I still belong in diapers. Because I volunteer in the cafeteria, I have to deal with my ex from college. During College, I was pulled into the director’s office to the point where I wanted to throw her in jail! So what did I do about it? 10 leadership conferences.
Now Nelson and Alex became the family I never got and although we have to give you an update on Nelson. I get Bi-erasure from my own family. Autism and eyesight made me feel like the youngest. Now Alex is the first person within my age range to say “I support you.” My girlfriend’s favorite movie that we’ve watched together is…
Now Nelson is straight but because Nelson’s one of my best friends, I was invited to his house for a Labor Day Barbecue and we had Buffalo Chicken. Now Alex isn’t Autistic but his parents got divorced when he was in middle school. One of my autistic interests is making the world a better place and I love to enjoy a good movie. They say that true geniuses were born in March and April. I got Fuzzy back in March 2009 and Fred Rogers was born on March 20th. Even though Mr. Rogers is dead, I can imitate him and one thing I’m going to do in my comedy career is talk like him in my comedy
April
Now I came out 3 months into Covid-19 and even though I live alone, sometimes I feel like I still live with my mom. Now even though I haven’t had a boyfriend, it’s the family prejudice that bothers me. My mom’s very overprotective of me. That overprotective nature lead to me being claustrophobia! George Sear (Benji) would appear in the movie as the guy I thought was cute in high school. Although I’m out to my girlfriend, That’s how I knew and I kept it secret for 13 years.
Now I’m not the most religious Jew on the planet but I need to do something that makes me happy. Now If you aren’t knew to Sam’s thoughts you should know I’m really good at Scrabble and my greatest accomplishment after the pandemic was beating my mom in Scrabble.
Now I started collecting Action Figurines in 4th grade and Michael B really wants to see them and although his favorite Power Ranger is Tommy and Jason David Frank is Dead. While alive, he battled a lifelong battle with ADHD.
April 20, 2023
My dominant reason for not wanting children is I’ve dealt with a lot of overgrown preschoolers. My dad heard Asperger Syndrome in 1993, I wouldn’t hear it until 8th grade. Nelson’s parents since Elementary School told him to not trust Jewish people. When he was earning our associate’s I was verbally harassed by our director after winter break! Nelson’s parents wanted him to be friends with another Autistic student named Evan Rosenberg! Now I asked Evan if he was Gay and it lead to him telling Nelson not to trust me.
Now I interviewed my Cousin Steve about being Gay. Steve’s 6′ 5″ and teaches 4th Grade. Autistic people have over sensory episodes. So things like Smoke Alarms would be difficult. Nelson’s move to Texas made me angry at his parents. Nelson was my, “You don’t understand!” friend! Now even though my girlfriend is important I interviewed Steve 3 years ago. My brother’s also disabled but my mom bullied me for 12 years because of my pen pal in Russia!
I found a cool place in Seattle called Art Marble and I might hold a bachelor party there. Now Nick Nelson is a comic book character I can relate to!
Trivia! Joe Locke (Charlie looks like my best friend) and because there’s a staff person named Noah who knows when my birthday is. He’ll get to not meet Nelson but a person I can’t talk about on Sam’s thoughts. In real life, Joe Locke is Gay but here are some lines he’d get to say as this person once Shattering the Ice becomes a movie
Joe Locke: Holy Shit dude that’s a lot of figures!
Joe Locke: What are some things you discuss with Nelson?
Joe Locke: Sam, which Katie is which again?
The Double Edged Sword meaning of April 29th
Now look, I retired my power rangers fandom and I taught Nelson about where power rangers came from. The Jewish food that won him over was Matzoh Ball Soup. When he ate it, it was my fuck you to his parents! Now even though I’m the cook between my girlfriend and I. She cried while we were watching Ed Wood!
My parents were married for 23 years and although I didn’t have a choice about living with my brother, he went bald after we live together and my parents wouldn’t like what I called him because he bullied me just for being Autistic but During April 29th is the day I lost someone to suicide 7 years ago. I still celebrate her birthday since nobody gave a damn about her when she was alive.
Because I’m a Passover baby, the best way to fast is with Mexican Food, A Bowl of Fried Rice, A Bowl of Chili etc. Now i don’t keep Kosher but you can Lettuce Wrap a Burger! My best friend’s Dad said that the only time Pork is Kosher is if you eat it in Asian restaurant
Now even though I’m the older of two brothers but I could still pass for my late 20s. Shirquita really enjoys my pin collection that I started after I stopped living with my abusive brother. When a Jewish person dies you get to have Shiva for them. When Alexandra Olson was alive, I told her all the things I enjoy and in 2016 She killed herself at 53, Although She’s dead I got abused by a former friend. Now even though my parents know about my blog, she got to meet Nelson when she was alive!
Now I met Nelson 4 months after I met Alex but Autistics can remember things easier than most people, but when I came out my mom heard “love and Nelson in the same sentence!” thus she assumed it was Nelson, the actual person I had a crush on is married now but even though his parents banned power rangers but he knows what super sentai is. His favorite Harry Potter Book is Prisoner of Azkaban, His Favorite Pokemon is Bulbasaur and he DOES remember the Batman Cartoon from when we were kids. The late Kevin Conroy was Gay.
Now if I were to revive him I’d want him to voice my dog, Fuzzy! Kevin Conroy would get to say this; “Dude, Sam if you morphed into the green ranger you’d barf in Dragonzord’s Cockpit and last I checked, Zordon doesn’t pay for Dry Cleaning!”
Now Even though I like Harry Potter, the world of Middle Earth is far more diverse, for Christmas I actually gave my girlfriend The Fellowship of The Ring. Now where I volunteer, there’s a staff person named Michael Brown who really wants to see my collectibles.
Now I started volunteering before the pandemic AND coming out. One of my talents is Scrabble. Although I get along with people older than me, my biggest struggle as an Autistic is fitting in with people my age. My golden rules where I volunteer are 1) Don’t cause drama 2) Don’t swear and 3) Make good food.
Now Michael B I call Senor Verde because his favorite Power Ranger is Tommy during his Green Ranger days but because I live independently, I bought him a pinball and pranked him. Now Michael B’s Grandma taught him how to play Scrabble. My Scrabble teacher was my mom and I have only beaten her 4 times. but this year I got the 7 letter bingo
May
Now Lisa C is a middle aged Black Woman and she’s met my parents. Now I want to remind you guys parents are people too.
When I came out to my mom, she wanted to know who it was. I can’t reveal the answer on Sam’s thoughts but Karma got to my parents since I got the love from him, I never got from my brother. In fact, his parents had a miscarriage too. My Crush expired when he gave me a ride home from the all night senior party.
When I came out to my dad he shouted at me. Although I have a girlfriend now, I abide by her boundaries on Sam’s thoughts. In College, I met Nelson and although his move to Texas is his parents decision to be closed minded Conservatives. Now I told myself whomever I marry, Rabbi Latz will lead the ceremony.
Although I met Nelson when I was 23 and he was 19, what won me over is the way Nelson Laughs. So we had Thai Food and I was his Chaperone and we became brothers in 2016. Now Rabbi Latz hasn’t seen me since my Bar Mitzvah but he’s going to learn about the Bi-Erasure and Antisemitism, I experienced during college.
Rabbi Latz is 53 and one Jewish tradition is you get to stomp on a wine glass during the ceremony.
Now Even though Nelson and I are best friends my way of saying fuck you to his family is by getting him to try Matzoh Ball Soup and since I’m writing this like one of Rabbi Latz’s Sermons. I told Nelson the hidden meanings of April 3, 1971, April 5, 1975 and he already knows what August 28th, 1993 means!
Now Ron Wasserman has seen my comedy but he has also read this blog. The Power Rangers are NOT my favorite superheroes. Autism makes it hard to employ me but my buddy Jay believes that’s society’s problem! Now even though I left the closet during covid, my girlfriend will be receiving The Two Towers as her Valentine’s Day Practical Present. My present tor her is some flowers and Dark Chocolate. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Once and Always gets a 7/10.
My mother’s day tradition with my mom is usually a meal and a movie. This year we watched the Karate Kid and had Fajitas. Next year I’m obligated to watch Hamilton and I was given Disney+ for Hanukkah
Now Ron should know that Go Green Ranger Actually has a lot of hidden meanings for me as a young Jewish person.
Tommy is not my favorite power ranger but David Yost should know that I was the kid in middle school who was shy and got nose bleeds a lot. I started Comedy as a way to overcome Social Anxiety although Ron Wasserman has read my blog before, California might have In N Out but while in Seattle, I highly recommend that Ron try Dick’s Drive In and go to Archie McPhee. Seattle is also known for Coffee, Pike Place Market and the Space Needle. Now Ron should know I made a comment on YouTube That went Viral and got 500 likes.
The Morph Call I made was RPM… Get some…BEER!!! That having been said I don’t Drink or Smoke.
Now Mom’s are people too and I learned to cook at 25. I gave my Uncle Aaron a meal plan for announcement next year. Now if you know one person with Autism you just know that one person. Now this is true because I’m about to talk about someone named Mike Ahlrep.
Mike’s girlfriend actually broke up with him and even though this blog is my safe space and I’m out to my girlfriend but the reason I’m not friends with Mike anymore is because I felt awful when someone in my synagogue committed suicide. Even though I didn’t know what suicide was in elementary school what suicide was, I knew since Elementary School that’s how Jason David Frank would die! I haven’t tested positive for Covid but my brother would wish it on me!
What coming out was like for me
My dad told me he didn’t care! My mom made me feel like I was under arrest! Autism has always made it hard for me to fit in with people my own age. My mom told my Uncle Ralph and I was angry with her. Now even though I love my parents, my dream jobs make me happy.
Even though I love my family, my girlfriend has cured what I call my name curse!
Now in Sam’s thoughts, I don’t go into Same sex attraction because my girlfriend and I have a plan because I am going to talk about my name curse!
My Cousin Steve and I are both named after my grandpa, Sam Schiller and he’s about to learn about some things I taught my best man. Nelson was on his high school’s foot ball team. I was the first Jewish president of my high school’s world culture club and standup co,edy was my senior project. Now even though I met Nelson during college, Shattering the Ice won’t shy away from the bullying and I can make Nelson laugh. Now Nelson agrees with me that what his parents are doing to me is inappropriate!
Now even though I’ve been out of the closet for 3 years, my buddy Alex was easier to come out to because I can change my native Seattle dialect at the drop of a dime. Now even though I face stereotypes all my life Alex and Nelson have witnessed Toxic Masculinity with my brother.
Now my girlfriend was impressed by my culinary skills, my writing and my comedy. Nelson’s sister Liz actually told me that her brother’s lucky to have him as a friend. Before he moved to Texas, we were watching Beavis and Butthead and he was laughing really loudly and his sister Lauren shouted “Nelson I’m trying to Sleep!” Even though Nelson’s a Republican, Since he’s getting a copy of this that it was like dealing with a Lesbian with a hissy fit!
So what were the 6people who helped break my name curse and how did they do it?
My girlfriend, Katie (From Russia and College), Nelson, Alex Allie
Because this is my first mention of Allie on Sam’s thoughts. Allie and have the same interests but now that I left the closet, I feel a more free. Because Allie has seen my stuff through FaceTime. Allie has Homework for the Wedding! But she gets to have some pre wedding fun. Nelson might be Hispanic but his heart is Jewish. Now I want to make this clear.
Allie’s ex was on my tour but they were the bully. Thus I have no interest in her. Now Allie and I have one of the same fears and that’s clowns. Although it’s common knowledge that jason David Frank’s cause of death. Although Tommy is the most popular power ranger while alive, Jason David Frank had ADHD.
Allie is going to see Where Power Rangers came from when she comes from the wedding. But here’s the catch. She has to read a Poem and shave her hair. This is because both of us are fans of Avatar the Last Air Bender. The Sequel show has LGBT themes.
My girlfriend has tried my Fish Tacos and the best way to make a fish taco is season it with citrus. In May I met Leo the Pomeranian
June!
Now June is pride month and even though I left the closet at the start of covid-19. Mr. Abel Charrow has a homework assignment, He gets to see the inside of my apartment before I get Married. Although he’s invited to the wedding, he knows that I exist but when I came out to my family they didn’t seem to care how I felt. I want Abel to see the reflection of my younger self via the apartment. I have what I call Autism soft topics and what won Nelson over is how much I know about power rangers. Nelson was the power rangers fan who was always in trouble and I was the Jewish comic who got bullied all the way to college. Now even though I watch Power Rangers with my girlfriend, I have to share the volunteer site with my ex and I can see through her lies.
One thing that always bothers me is when people talk down to me and just see the power ranger fan. Now I supported LGBT lives before coming out myself but when I came out 3 years ago, it was hard to tell my parents because of the arguments I had with my younger brother. I had Starbucks with the person who introduced me to my friend Jay and I found a bonus copy of the big Lebowski
July
My girlfriend got to meet Casey. Casey has never met my parents or my younger brother. Thank g-d for that but this is a joke at my expense, I was circumcised by Edward Scissorhands. Now my mom’s no longer friends with a woman named Jessie Brynan. I heard homophobic comments about my dad. I wanted to come out after high school. I wanted to come out at 21 but my dog died. I came out at 30 but my mom told my Uncle Ralph. Although I forgave her, in college I met Nelson and she gave me a Jewish guilt trip about my friendship because the only time she saw her first born son angry was when he had to reveal about the first same sex attraction during high school. The crush expired on the way home as I had food poisoning
Although I beat Ron Wasserman this year, power rangers aren’t my only autistic hyper focused interest. This is the YouTube of the devil when he had hair.
Now even though I’m working on a Harry Potter fan fiction for my Girlfriend where Harry is Sorted into Slytherin. I’m using it to vent Nelson Amador Jr’s move. Now even though I lived with my brother for 8 months, Karma got to him because I finally have a girlfriend who’s the size of the Hobbit and will allow my supposed “gay” side that I tried to oppress. The reason why I tried to oppress it is because in College, the director of my associates was a massive bitch and was hypocritical of Jewish Holidays. My girlfriend bought me a switch and while I’m getting better at video games, I’m more of a movie guy!
August!
During College I spent a lot of time in the director’s office. Now even though I live independently, my dad doesn’t believe me about how words can hurt as much getting a bloody nose. One thing that hurts to this day is family nepotism! Now the age I realized it was 20 but my girlfriend’s glad that I’m the chef between the two of us. Even though I left the closet 13 years ago and my jokes come out faster, my mom knows about Sam’s thoughts and the next step after that is to get married and write Shattering the Ice because she, a few of my exes, my brother talk down to me. My parents met Mr. P. Even though we’re friends Mr. P’s favorite Pokemon is Bulbasaur, his favorite Harry Potter Book is Prisoner of Azkaban and In the 60s we had a Hispanic Gay Joker, in the 90s Mark Hamill was our Joker and the late Kevin Conroy was Gay.
August
The craziest thing about my life is that a lot of people who bullied me growing up have apologized to me but those who always thought I was bright in elementary school are still impressed. Now I don’t have any interest in having kids because of college drama. Nelson treats me like family. Now my golden rule on Sam’s thoughts is I don’t talk about college but I save it for my memoir but in order to be discreet, I will say this!
In college there were a set of identical twins and mirror twins with bipolar disorder. So what’s a mirror twin, if one of us is vegan, the other would eat meat. Now the reason I didn’t like college because I have experienced Antisemitism since 5th grade and the student was Black.
Now I met Alex and behind the director’s back I went to 10 conferences and Alex HAS seen what I started in 4th grade> Now
Save draftPublish
2023 Yearly Recap
Warning Mature content! Spoilers!
The following blog introduces my girlfriend and what’s going to happen and next year I have to tell my mom over a meatloaf lunch to respect my boundaries over a meatloaf lunch. Now even though I’ve been out of the closet for 3 years, there are some stereotypes within Autism and Being Jewish I find annoying. Now my coming out was hard to do with the parents I had! Karma got to my dad and the guy I thought was cute in high school now works with him!
Now I want to make this perfectly clear, my Cousin Steve is Gay but Ron Wasserman (The Composer for Saban in the 90s has read this blog. I’m bi and even though I’m open about it now, my age of realization was high school.) College can’t be discussed on Sam’s thoughts but it has to be an actual book because it’s going to make you laugh and cry. Now I want to make this perfectly clear, my memoir is called Shattering the Ice and I’ve wanted to write it since High School! One thing that’s unique to me that someone my age has noticed is my Romantic side. His name is Tony DeLilis. Tony was the first domestic power rangers fan to help me. The first international power rangers/super sentai fan to help me was Lex Louw.
Last year as we know, we lost Kevin Conroy and Jason David Frank (Batman and Tommy from power rangers) Kevin came out 6 years before his death but even though I stopped watching power rangers a long time ago, Although Jason David Frank’s death was suicide, Ron Wasserman is about to learn where power rangers came from and that’s Japan!
Anime is one of my Autistic interests and last year, college came back to bite me in the ass! I want to make this perfectly clear, I’m scary when I have an anxiety attack. Now I want to make this perfectly clear, I’ve been making people laugh since I was a teenager but even though Zordon is a fictional character, he could get arrested if he didn’t make Andros commit euthanasia!
January
I want to make this clear, my parents told me about their divorce 3 months after our I got out of high school. Making people laugh and learning to cook was the escape I needed from my family. Now behind my parents backs my brother and I would fight. My mom is the overprotective Jewish parent and although she was a bully to my pen pal after my dog died, neither parent said the words, “I support you!”
My mom got me a gift box to Harry and David and the person she was bullying was my pen pal Katie. Now for my 30th birthday I got to see someone from birthright and although we’re friends, the most important things to me are happy memories and making people laugh over a meal. My mom knows two of my pen pals, Katie and Tony.
Tony first met me online after the divorce and both of his parents are dead. My girlfriend knows I don’t smoke but she drinks responsibly
Before we started dating we went snow tubing where I volunteer
February
Now long time readers know that I’m Jewish and Jewish people and Muslims are the world’s oldest target. If your names are Masar, Noah, Michael B. and Keenan, I might be a wizard in the Kitchen but I’m not a bitch. Since Michael and I are just a year apart in age, Fuzzy was my dragonzord and even though he died when I was in college, While he was alive he was 8 inches tall and weighed 13 pounds and he looked like an Eevee. My Cousin Brian challenged me to read Harry Potter and The Methods of Rationality. Now one thing I hate about Autistic stereotypes, you’re good for one thing and my brother was born the day after my dog died. Now my younger brother actually makes Buzz McCallister (Devin Ratray) from Home Alone look like a saint.
My brother has become even more toxic as he got older but a person who died 7 years ago believes me that he was abusive were my college buddies, Nelson, Alex and Katie. Katie called him a punk. Nelson is also Autistic and Alex helped me leave the closet. During Hanukkah he met my girlfriend but since his family tree is the exact same as mine. We have a new dog on my mom’s side on February 22nd! Her name is Maria and because I took Spanish in high school, she trusts me more than my younger brother.
March
Now I met my girlfriend on March 14th and she’s 5′ 2″ and Black. The way I told her I was Bi is after a phone call with Pride Across the Bridge and as you can see, we’re still together. The reason I’m open about it is because I got abused by a gay guy from college who made me feel like shit after a suicide. Now I came out 3 months into the pandemic and my parents didn’t understand.
Now I was popular in high school, Alex dropped out, Nelson was also popular but my brother thinks I still belong in diapers. Because I volunteer in the cafeteria, I have to deal with my ex from college. During College, I was pulled into the director’s office to the point where I wanted to throw her in jail! So what did I do about it? 10 leadership conferences.
Now Nelson and Alex became the family I never got and although we have to give you an update on Nelson. I get Bi-erasure from my own family. Autism and eyesight made me feel like the youngest. Now Alex is the first person within my age range to say “I support you.” My girlfriend’s favorite movie that we’ve watched together is…
Now Nelson is straight but because Nelson’s one of my best friends, I was invited to his house for a Labor Day Barbecue and we had Buffalo Chicken. Now Alex isn’t Autistic but his parents got divorced when he was in middle school. One of my autistic interests is making the world a better place and I love to enjoy a good movie. They say that true geniuses were born in March and April. I got Fuzzy back in March 2009 and Fred Rogers was born on March 20th. Even though Mr. Rogers is dead, I can imitate him and one thing I’m going to do in my comedy career is talk like him in my comedy
April
Now I came out 3 months into Covid-19 and even though I live alone, sometimes I feel like I still live with my mom. Now even though I haven’t had a boyfriend, it’s the family prejudice that bothers me. My mom’s very overprotective of me. That overprotective nature lead to me being claustrophobia! George Sear (Benji) would appear in the movie as the guy I thought was cute in high school. Although I’m out to my girlfriend, That’s how I knew and I kept it secret for 13 years.
Now I’m not the most religious Jew on the planet but I need to do something that makes me happy. Now If you aren’t knew to Sam’s thoughts you should know I’m really good at Scrabble and my greatest accomplishment after the pandemic was beating my mom in Scrabble.
Now I started collecting Action Figurines in 4th grade and Michael B really wants to see them and although his favorite Power Ranger is Tommy and Jason David Frank is Dead. While alive, he battled a lifelong battle with ADHD.
April 20, 2023
My dominant reason for not wanting children is I’ve dealt with a lot of overgrown preschoolers. My dad heard Asperger Syndrome in 1993, I wouldn’t hear it until 8th grade. Nelson’s parents since Elementary School told him to not trust Jewish people. When he was earning our associate’s I was verbally harassed by our director after winter break! Nelson’s parents wanted him to be friends with another Autistic student named Evan Rosenberg! Now I asked Evan if he was Gay and it lead to him telling Nelson not to trust me.
Now I interviewed my Cousin Steve about being Gay. Steve’s 6′ 5″ and teaches 4th Grade. Autistic people have over sensory episodes. So things like Smoke Alarms would be difficult. Nelson’s move to Texas made me angry at his parents. Nelson was my, “You don’t understand!” friend! Now even though my girlfriend is important I interviewed Steve 3 years ago. My brother’s also disabled but my mom bullied me for 12 years because of my pen pal in Russia!
I found a cool place in Seattle called Art Marble and I might hold a bachelor party there. Now Nick Nelson is a comic book character I can relate to!Trivia! Joe Locke (Charlie looks like my best friend) and because there’s a staff person named Noah who knows when my birthday is. He’ll get to not meet Nelson but a person I can’t talk about on Sam’s thoughts. In real life, Joe Locke is Gay but here are some lines he’d get to say as this person once Shattering the Ice becomes a movie
Joe Locke: Holy Shit dude that’s a lot of figures!
Joe Locke: What are some things you discuss with Nelson?
Joe Locke: Sam, which Katie is which again?
The Double Edged Sword meaning of April 29th
Now look, I retired my power rangers fandom and I taught Nelson about where power rangers came from. The Jewish food that won him over was Matzoh Ball Soup. When he ate it, it was my fuck you to his parents! Now even though I’m the cook between my girlfriend and I. She cried while we were watching Ed Wood!
My parents were married for 23 years and although I didn’t have a choice about living with my brother, he went bald after we live together and my parents wouldn’t like what I called him because he bullied me just for being Autistic but During April 29th is the day I lost someone to suicide 7 years ago. I still celebrate her birthday since nobody gave a damn about her when she was alive.
Because I’m a Passover baby, the best way to fast is with Mexican Food, A Bowl of Fried Rice, A Bowl of Chili etc. Now i don’t keep Kosher but you can Lettuce Wrap a Burger! My best friend’s Dad said that the only time Pork is Kosher is if you eat it in Asian restaurant
Now even though I’m the older of two brothers but I could still pass for my late 20s. Shirquita really enjoys my pin collection that I started after I stopped living with my abusive brother. When a Jewish person dies you get to have Shiva for them. When Alexandra Olson was alive, I told her all the things I enjoy and in 2016 She killed herself at 53, Although She’s dead I got abused by a former friend. Now even though my parents know about my blog, she got to meet Nelson when she was alive!
Now I met Nelson 4 months after I met Alex but Autistics can remember things easier than most people, but when I came out my mom heard “love and Nelson in the same sentence!” thus she assumed it was Nelson, the actual person I had a crush on is married now but even though his parents banned power rangers but he knows what super sentai is. His favorite Harry Potter Book is Prisoner of Azkaban, His Favorite Pokemon is Bulbasaur and he DOES remember the Batman Cartoon from when we were kids. The late Kevin Conroy was Gay.
Now if I were to revive him I’d want him to voice my dog, Fuzzy! Kevin Conroy would get to say this; “Dude, Sam if you morphed into the green ranger you’d barf in Dragonzord’s Cockpit and last I checked, Zordon doesn’t pay for Dry Cleaning!”
Now Even though I like Harry Potter, the world of Middle Earth is far more diverse, for Christmas I actually gave my girlfriend The Fellowship of The Ring. Now where I volunteer, there’s a staff person named Michael Brown who really wants to see my collectibles.
Now I started volunteering before the pandemic AND coming out. One of my talents is Scrabble. Although I get along with people older than me, my biggest struggle as an Autistic is fitting in with people my age. My golden rules where I volunteer are 1) Don’t cause drama 2) Don’t swear and 3) Make good food.
Now Michael B I call Senor Verde because his favorite Power Ranger is Tommy during his Green Ranger days but because I live independently, I bought him a pinball and pranked him. Now Michael B’s Grandma taught him how to play Scrabble. My Scrabble teacher was my mom and I have only beaten her 4 times. but this year I got the 7 letter bingo
May
Now Lisa C is a middle aged Black Woman and she’s met my parents. Now I want to remind you guys parents are people too.
When I came out to my mom, she wanted to know who it was. I can’t reveal the answer on Sam’s thoughts but Karma got to my parents since I got the love from him, I never got from my brother. In fact, his parents had a miscarriage too. My Crush expired when he gave me a ride home from the all night senior party.
When I came out to my dad he shouted at me. Although I have a girlfriend now, I abide by her boundaries on Sam’s thoughts. In College, I met Nelson and although his move to Texas is his parents decision to be closed minded Conservatives. Now I told myself whomever I marry, Rabbi Latz will lead the ceremony.
Although I met Nelson when I was 23 and he was 19, what won me over is the way Nelson Laughs. So we had Thai Food and I was his Chaperone and we became brothers in 2016. Now Rabbi Latz hasn’t seen me since my Bar Mitzvah but he’s going to learn about the Bi-Erasure and Antisemitism, I experienced during college.
Rabbi Latz is 53 and one Jewish tradition is you get to stomp on a wine glass during the ceremony.
Now Even though Nelson and I are best friends my way of saying fuck you to his family is by getting him to try Matzoh Ball Soup and since I’m writing this like one of Rabbi Latz’s Sermons. I told Nelson the hidden meanings of April 3, 1971, April 5, 1975 and he already knows what August 28th, 1993 means!
Now Ron Wasserman has seen my comedy but he has also read this blog. The Power Rangers are NOT my favorite superheroes. Autism makes it hard to employ me but my buddy Jay believes that’s society’s problem! Now even though I left the closet during covid, my girlfriend will be receiving The Two Towers as her Valentine’s Day Practical Present. My present tor her is some flowers and Dark Chocolate. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Once and Always gets a 7/10.
My mother’s day tradition with my mom is usually a meal and a movie. This year we watched the Karate Kid and had Fajitas. Next year I’m obligated to watch Hamilton and I was given Disney+ for Hanukkah
Now Ron should know that Go Green Ranger Actually has a lot of hidden meanings for me as a young Jewish person.
Tommy is not my favorite power ranger but David Yost should know that I was the kid in middle school who was shy and got nose bleeds a lot. I started Comedy as a way to overcome Social Anxiety although Ron Wasserman has read my blog before, California might have In N Out but while in Seattle, I highly recommend that Ron try Dick’s Drive In and go to Archie McPhee. Seattle is also known for Coffee, Pike Place Market and the Space Needle. Now Ron should know I made a comment on YouTube That went Viral and got 500 likes.The Morph Call I made was RPM… Get some…BEER!!! That having been said I don’t Drink or Smoke.
Now Mom’s are people too and I learned to cook at 25. I gave my Uncle Aaron a meal plan for announcement next year. Now if you know one person with Autism you just know that one person. Now this is true because I’m about to talk about someone named Mike Ahlrep.
Mike’s girlfriend actually broke up with him and even though this blog is my safe space and I’m out to my girlfriend but the reason I’m not friends with Mike anymore is because I felt awful when someone in my synagogue committed suicide. Even though I didn’t know what suicide was in elementary school what suicide was, I knew since Elementary School that’s how Jason David Frank would die! I haven’t tested positive for Covid but my brother would wish it on me!
What coming out was like for meMy dad told me he didn’t care! My mom made me feel like I was under arrest! Autism has always made it hard for me to fit in with people my own age. My mom told my Uncle Ralph and I was angry with her. Now even though I love my parents, my dream jobs make me happy.
Even though I love my family, my girlfriend has cured what I call my name curse!
Now in Sam’s thoughts, I don’t go into Same sex attraction because my girlfriend and I have a plan because I am going to talk about my name curse!
My Cousin Steve and I are both named after my grandpa, Sam Schiller and he’s about to learn about some things I taught my best man. Nelson was on his high school’s foot ball team. I was the first Jewish president of my high school’s world culture club and standup co,edy was my senior project. Now even though I met Nelson during college, Shattering the Ice won’t shy away from the bullying and I can make Nelson laugh. Now Nelson agrees with me that what his parents are doing to me is inappropriate!
Now even though I’ve been out of the closet for 3 years, my buddy Alex was easier to come out to because I can change my native Seattle dialect at the drop of a dime. Now even though I face stereotypes all my life Alex and Nelson have witnessed Toxic Masculinity with my brother.
Now my girlfriend was impressed by my culinary skills, my writing and my comedy. Nelson’s sister Liz actually told me that her brother’s lucky to have him as a friend. Before he moved to Texas, we were watching Beavis and Butthead and he was laughing really loudly and his sister Lauren shouted “Nelson I’m trying to Sleep!” Even though Nelson’s a Republican, Since he’s getting a copy of this that it was like dealing with a Lesbian with a hissy fit!
So what were the 6people who helped break my name curse and how did they do it?
My girlfriend, Katie (From Russia and College), Nelson, Alex Allie
Because this is my first mention of Allie on Sam’s thoughts. Allie and have the same interests but now that I left the closet, I feel a more free. Because Allie has seen my stuff through FaceTime. Allie has Homework for the Wedding! But she gets to have some pre wedding fun. Nelson might be Hispanic but his heart is Jewish. Now I want to make this clear.
Allie’s ex was on my tour but they were the bully. Thus I have no interest in her. Now Allie and I have one of the same fears and that’s clowns. Although it’s common knowledge that jason David Frank’s cause of death. Although Tommy is the most popular power ranger while alive, Jason David Frank had ADHD.
Allie is going to see Where Power Rangers came from when she comes from the wedding. But here’s the catch. She has to read a Poem and shave her hair. This is because both of us are fans of Avatar the Last Air Bender. The Sequel show has LGBT themes.
My girlfriend has tried my Fish Tacos and the best way to make a fish taco is season it with citrus. In May I met Leo the Pomeranian
June!
Now June is pride month and even though I left the closet at the start of covid-19. Mr. Abel Charrow has a homework assignment, He gets to see the inside of my apartment before I get Married. Although he’s invited to the wedding, he knows that I exist but when I came out to my family they didn’t seem to care how I felt. I want Abel to see the reflection of my younger self via the apartment. I have what I call Autism soft topics and what won Nelson over is how much I know about power rangers. Nelson was the power rangers fan who was always in trouble and I was the Jewish comic who got bullied all the way to college. Now even though I watch Power Rangers with my girlfriend, I have to share the volunteer site with my ex and I can see through her lies.
One thing that always bothers me is when people talk down to me and just see the power ranger fan. Now I supported LGBT lives before coming out myself but when I came out 3 years ago, it was hard to tell my parents because of the arguments I had with my younger brother. I had Starbucks with the person who introduced me to my friend Jay and I found a bonus copy of the big Lebowski
July
My girlfriend got to meet Casey. Casey has never met my parents or my younger brother. Thank g-d for that but this is a joke at my expense, I was circumcised by Edward Scissorhands. Now my mom’s no longer friends with a woman named Jessie Brynan. I heard homophobic comments about my dad. I wanted to come out after high school. I wanted to come out at 21 but my dog died. I came out at 30 but my mom told my Uncle Ralph. Although I forgave her, in college I met Nelson and she gave me a Jewish guilt trip about my friendship because the only time she saw her first born son angry was when he had to reveal about the first same sex attraction during high school. The crush expired on the way home as I had food poisoning
Although I beat Ron Wasserman this year, power rangers aren’t my only autistic hyper focused interest. This is the YouTube of the devil when he had hair.
Now even though I’m working on a Harry Potter fan fiction for my Girlfriend where Harry is Sorted into Slytherin. I’m using it to vent Nelson Amador Jr’s move. Now even though I lived with my brother for 8 months, Karma got to him because I finally have a girlfriend who’s the size of the Hobbit and will allow my supposed “gay” side that I tried to oppress. The reason why I tried to oppress it is because in College, the director of my associates was a massive bitch and was hypocritical of Jewish Holidays. My girlfriend bought me a switch and while I’m getting better at video games, I’m more of a movie guy!
August!
During College I spent a lot of time in the director’s office. Now even though I live independently, my dad doesn’t believe me about how words can hurt as much getting a bloody nose. One thing that hurts to this day is family nepotism! Now the age I realized it was 20 but my girlfriend’s glad that I’m the chef between the two of us. Even though I left the closet 13 years ago and my jokes come out faster, my mom knows about Sam’s thoughts and the next step after that is to get married and write Shattering the Ice because she, a few of my exes, my brother talk down to me. My parents met Mr. P. Even though we’re friends Mr. P’s favorite Pokemon is Bulbasaur, his favorite Harry Potter Book is Prisoner of Azkaban and In the 60s we had a Hispanic Gay Joker, in the 90s Mark Hamill was our Joker and the late Kevin Conroy was Gay.
The craziest thing about my life is that a lot of people who bullied me growing up have apologized to me but those who always thought I was bright in elementary school are still impressed. Now I don’t have any interest in having kids because of college drama. Nelson treats me like family. Now my golden rule on Sam’s thoughts is I don’t talk about college but I save it for my memoir but in order to be discreet, I will say this!
In college there were a set of identical twins and mirror twins with bipolar disorder. So what’s a mirror twin, if one of us is vegan, the other would eat meat. Now the reason I didn’t like college because I have experienced Antisemitism since 5th grade and the student was Black.
Now I met Alex and behind the director’s back I went to 10 conferences and Alex HAS seen what I started in 4th grade! Now even if she doesn’t deserve it, my parents taught me to wish others Merry Christmas. Now it took my parents 10 years to apologize for have me live with my brother. To be honest, that’s why my childhood was hard and in middle school I was the student in the nurses office with constant nosebleeds and in high school I was popular. Although In college, the director brainwashed my dad and I had to vent my anger through scripts!
My Uncle is my role model in life and my college girlfriend still wants to meet him but Shattering the Ice will be an Autism book but it’s also LGBTQIA+ Self Advocacy, Although my pronouns are he/him/his. I knew I was bi starting around high school. Same sex attractions expire for me. I was angry that my mom never said the words “I support you” and my dad got mad! Let’s say Nelson is my mirror twin. If Nelson was Vegan, I’d eat meat. Nelson gave me the love I never got from my brother. I gave blood 1 time this year.
Although my girlfriend and I took the train to my Uncle’s, I swore him to secrecy about an announcement in 2024. My parents have to respect my boundaries. The way they told me about their divorce is by taking me to dinner and say they were getting divorced. Sam’s thoughts will now include what I ate this year. Thanks to my girlfriend, I budget better and feel better about my mental health!
Now Arleen Sorkin’s death was Multiple Sclerosis but I think she was just as heartbroken as the rest of us because Kevin Conroy died of Intestine Cancer and even though I never met him, his husband probably misses him the most. Last year my Aunt Enid passed away and she actually sounded like Harley Quinn.
September!
Now Last year long time power rangers fans now we lost Jason David Frank. Now even though I’m a comedian and a chef with Autism, I won’t reveal Ron Wasserman’s birthday but A friend of mine who committed suicide shares his birthday with him. The Scary part is the day she died was the day my parents met at a wedding in 1984. I went on birthright and in College, I met someone who I’m no longer friends with and he tried to contact me last year and the day he died was his birthday. Now I make jokes about having Autism and I love to cook and it’s common knowledge if you live in Seattle that I collected action figures since 4th grade. I took Spanish in High School, been to Israel twice and I’m getting my wish of going to Japan and Greece. Although Synagogues are claustrophobic, I practice my religious beliefs in the water. Even though my girlfriend watched Power Rangers together I introduced her to Super Sentai and Even though my buddy Alex met me in College, he has the same exact family dynamic. Judaism teaches the art of Self Care and because my girlfriend wants me to add figurines for every 100 books. The pins and buttons in my bedroom are meant to represent the way I handle bullying. My girlfriend’s Challenge is to Write a Fan Fiction where Harry Potter is Sorted into Slytherin. It’s called Harry Potter and the 7 years of Bullshit!
The person who committed suicide was Alexandra Olson. She was 53, I was 27. Jason David Frank was 49. My Girlfriend and I had a Posthumous Birthday Party for her and so we went to a joke shop. Because my girlfriend tells me Autism is my superpower, when we get to October we’re going to talk about coming out! In September my volunteer site went to a rescue shelter and my girlfriend and I looked at dogs. So Power Rangers Dino/Cosmic Fury now that I’ve been out for 3 years? Yes! Because Hasbro owns the rights. Fuck you Saban! If you went to my high school, you know about my middle finger joke it was controversial back then.
I met my girlfriend where I volunteer for 7 years. Now even though Kevin Conroy’s dead, I came out 3 months into the pandemic. Now even though I’m autistic, the easiest person to tell was a guy named Alex because he’s going to be a groomsman. The hardest person to tell was Nelson Amador Jr. Now in 2008, my mom had a friend who had a Gay brother and who made homophobic comments about my dad. Now even though I’m 34, Kevin Conroy was sort of my “Gay Dad”. Although my blog talks about life after college, my ex girlfriend met my girlfriend before I did!
Now I was diagnosed with Autism then Asperger’s at 4 and I have eyesight trouble. Now even though I haven’t had a boyfriend, I had a hard time talking to males my age. We went to Build a Bear, My apartment’s party. Although we lost Matthew Perry this year, I came out to my high school so I could practice with my family!
Now for my YouTube Channel I have Tommy’s stuff but when I return from a wedding in South Carolina, I’m going to get Adam’s Gear. Although I came out at 31, my girlfriend actually likes me for what I’ve accomplished so far. Because I have to keep you guys in the dark about some things, she thinks Super Sentai is Fascinating, Kamen Rider is cool and is even willing to go to Japan with me!
Anime, Books, Food are our love language. Cooking is where my “gay” side comes out, comedy is where my “straight side” comes out. My Cousin Steve told me coming out is more reliant on the other person and since I feel more comfortable with women, I don’t regret coming out 3 months into the pandemic! Even though I live alone and am currently have a girlfriend, I abide by her boundaries too. Since this blog is my nerd side, the next person in pop culture I learned about from my birthright tour, Richard Moll died and he was the two face Tony, Nelson and I grew up with but Katie will experience because my parents don’t have a choice about her on the guest list
My mom admitted I’m more patient than she is but because I gave lectures about Autism then Asperger’s in High School and had to deal with bigotry for being Jewish. Now even though I know all about things like Pride and Pray the Gay away, the associate’s I earned was to assist in finding a job and finding employment. Now there’s a difference between being immature and in touch with your inner child. I treated where I volunteer like my internship during my college days!
Now where I volunteer is called Bellevue Clubhouse and I’m going to sound like an infomercial for them now!
As Zaheer: Bellevue Clubhouse is where Sam K volunteers in Hospitality and is a columnist for their newsletter. Although he’s male he gaves talks about Ass-burger disease in high school, when his dog Fluffy died he went through the 5 stages of grief during college. Because of his disease the director told him all people who have it are the same! Now even though he has a girlfriend, this one is what he calls adorkable. Like all Jewish children, they grow up.
Although Sam lives alone, G-d has someone for everyone!
Normally: Zaheer, why did you have to mention G-d?
Zaheer: I’m the one who convinced Nelson’s family to move to Texas, you–
Anyway, my pride flag is in the kitchen and I do a lot of cooking for 7 years and even though I’m in my early 30s, I haven’t had a boyfriend but I inherited the look younger than your age gene than your age gene from my family. Shattering the Ice, my memoir will be a book, now Autism gives me a stronger memory but everyone has the right to happiness and because I wanted to get started in comedy at a very young age, that was my senior project in high school. This is the only time I’ll talk about college on my blog because I only have 5 friends that are worth keeping in touch with!
The Tale of the Two Katies!
Now there are two Katies that are very important to my life. Katie from college helped me find my ex. She keeps bragging about how she’s an identical, mirror twin with Bipolar Disorder. Well, guess who also had it?
Katie in College doesn’t force my bisexuality out she says “Sam’s humor is bland and British, you have to know him to understand it.” Because Kevin Conroy is dead and David Yost is still alive and I started Sam’s thoughts 10 years ago, here’s my personal coming out story, nix my comedy and oy vey I have to use the fucking sex and the city clip!
Sam’s PERSONAL coming out story!
Now look, my family’s a middle class Jewish family. My parents would have had a sister but she was a miscarriage. In Elementary school I was only called to the principal’s office because the kid in elementary school stole my computer. Long time readers know that I collect figurines (that was the first time my parents saw my autism). A stereotype with Autism/Asperger’s is why all like playing Yugioh and are really good at Math!
Puberty is actually a beautiful thing as it allows the LGBTQ community to be who they really are, Anime has been very important to me since I was 10! Now I can’t help that I’m a romantic, when I was a little kid I actually thought a double meant two people to one person.
In Middle School, I was painfully shy and would rather read, watch a movie or anime than talk to people. Autism makes it easier for me to talk to women but I often hear, “I just want you as a friend.”
During Sophomore and Junior year of high school, I experienced Bi-Erasure (More on that in Shattering the Ice). Junior year I had a crush on someone who’s moved on but she got orphaned before turning 30. Her name is Jennalee “Jen” Evavold! Although I was president of the student world culture club, there was one other student who wanted to go out with me. Now I knew liked women but Karma got to Watari (Dad) because Mr. P gives me permission to talk about same sex attraction when it comes to Autism. Same sex attractions come and go but I’m abiding by my girlfriend’s boundaries as this is “my one”
2007
Mr. P
Did I flirt with him? Constantly but just for fun
Was Batman Animated allowed: Yes! (Kevin Conroy is my gay dad)
What was Mr. P’s favorite Pokemon?: Bulbasaur!
What was Mr. P’s Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw!
What was Mr. P’s: Favorite Harry Potter Book: Prisoner of Azkaban (Most people I talk to Choose this book)
What did he sign in my senior year book: Keep making people laugh. (More or less)
Was Mr. P banned from Simpsons? Yes!
Why was Mr. P not allowed to watch Power Rangers? Because I was stuck in a Barney Costume!
How did I get over my crush on Mr. P? He gave me a ride home when I overate
Did Mr. P meet Nelson?
Yes!
What does my heart say when it comes to Mr. P these days?
Come to Anakin Phoenix’s wedding!
College!
Ok I’m going to be blunt, college was tough but I’m going to be blunt and keep it spoiler free as I have left the closet but Fuzzy’s reincarnation is my girlfriend!
There were a set of twins who have Bipolar Disorder. I have Bipolar Disorder but in High School I was the theater nerd. My ex brought up Ekaterina “Katie” Elokhina where we volunteer. Now Katie lives in Russia, my ex and her sister fight a LOT. So do my brother and I. Seattle has a bus system.
My ex’s booby trap was to treat me like a 5 year old! Now even though I’m a comedian and chef with Autism, when someone Mike and I were friends I called him Beetus boy and then when he came out as Gay we stopped being friends because of whining for his boyfriend. When I came out 3 years ago, it was because where I volunteer I’m one of the kitchen dudes.
My girlfriend wants to visit Israel
Fact! I wanted to come out after high school but my mom’s best friend at the time made homophobic comments about my dad and infantilized me. She thought I had a crush on Nelson but she was the tougher parent, my dad didn’t give a shit. As for my brother, I had to live with him for 8 months and he went bald as a result of bullying his autistic brother!
My girlfriend and I went to build a bear, my apartment’s Halloween Party and since I have a love/hate relationship with it, I just wore my green ranger shirt and we watched Hotel Transylvania 1.
My ex had a sister and while she’s also bipolar, neither of them are invited to comedy shows!
Ralph C or Gay Ralph calls me Bookworm. His personal challenge to me is the read the wheel of time series and I just finished the first book. Him and his partner know that I want get married and my girlfriend wants me to wait until February to announce something to you guys.
Gay Ralph knows of Nelson but although he hasn’t beaten me yet, he’s going to see the younger generation because although Nelson moved away, Jewish and LGBTQ are more liable to be bullied. Now I have no interest in Ralph. Now look guys I’m a nerd but Autism made it hard to be around people my age!
Now the pin collection in my apartment represents the freedom from my younger brother!
Although my girlfriend knows that I’m on the Spectrum, and a Jewish Bi, I’m the kitchen bitch! Although my parents had me first, neither of us want kids because they’re expensive but dogs will live on even after they die.
Because Matthew Perry died this year, Chandler is a reflection of me. My girlfriend’s favorite Character is Phoebe. Now Nelson’s move to Texas took its toll on my mental health and since my girlfriend’s not the only important person in my life, my last name translates to singer! Before she came to clubhouse, I plated 20 people for Spaghetti and Meatballs and 20 people for Chicken and Waffles! Now because this is a public blog, My girlfriend likes to Hike and we can Hike for her but I won her over the same way I won over Nelson! Her favorite movie we’ve watched together is Catch Me if you Can!
No! We’re brothers! Long time power rangers fans know David Yost (Billy) is Gay. Jason David Frank (Tommy) committed suicide! Now for those who don’t know, nepotism sucks! If you saw a video of Nelson and I together during our college days it would be the most wholesome thing you saw on YouTube or TikTok. Nelson was the tough one.
Believe it or not, my buddy Alex has the exact same background as me. Divorced parents and bullied by a sibling. Now even though I came out 3 months into the pandemic, my parents know who Mr. P is.
Although Mr. P’s last name isn’t Penis, after one of my college came out he became a drama queen! Same sex attractions come and go. Even though I don’t want children my girlfriend’s fine with that. Nelson might be Hispanic but it’s his heart was Jewish! So why was Nelson the tough one and Alex the easy one? Nelson and I made a deal, we’re the other’s best man and when he moved away, everything I taught him in college moved to Texas with him.
So why was Alex easy?
Power Rangers is Children’s television and Tommy is overrated. Alex is just as liberal as I am. If you’re Black, Jewish or Italian, it makes you a better comedian. I got my start in comedy at High School. Now Alex is still in Seattle and both of us have divorced parents and I make Autism funny. Now Alex met me when I was 23. My earliest memories go back to preschool because my preschool had Mortal Kombat. The first movie I saw was The Great Mouse Detective.
Alex knows that I have a pen pal named Katie after my dog died. After coming out, I was finally able to make a voice for him.
As Fuzzy: Sam’s ex girlfriend still wants to meet his Uncle Aaron and his pen pal, but I think she can go to hell! I’ve been to Hell, the fried rice is fantastic.
November!
Michael Ahlrep was jealous of my brotherhood with Nelson. After he came out, he became a jerk! His birthday is the day that Jason David Frank passed away on last year. Originally we WERE friends but I saw all the signs that he might be Gay! Now even though I left the closet 3 months into Covid, I interviewed my cousin Steve about being Gay and then I came out to my family and my mom should have asked for permission and my dad told me he didn’t care! Even though I haven’t had a boyfriend, I got my mom Love, Simon for Hanukkah.
My mom can’t keep a secret to save her life, My dad has anger problems and although I don’t live with my brother anymore my parents basically allowed him to call me retarded my entire life!
In November we got Malaysian food with my friend Ryan from High School. We had Thanksgiving and had our first workout and had our first workout!
December!
Now I’ve had a love/hate relationship with the holidays ever since I was a kid. I always felt like I was stuck in my brother’s shadow. Even though I’m autistic, I want the same things as everyone else> My girlfriend has bought me food, video games for Hanukkah and this is a quote from her, “Autism is your superpower!” I try to be patient with people I don’t like! Now there’s a baby boomer who plays Santa and I won’t reveal his real name on Sam’s thoughts.
Now I like to volunteer in the kitchen, standup comedy and theater helped me overcome Anxiety and Depression in Middle School Shyness. Sam A (She/Her) has read a Sam’s thoughts and if you know one Autistic Person, you don’t know EVERY Austitic person. Now even though I am a fan of Harry Potter, everyone had a reaction to JK Rowling’s trans comments. My rebuttal is “they have biological sex in Israel?”
All Jokes aside, although I came out 3 years ago my girlfriend and I have a very steady relationship. Now both Katies have been discussed on Sam’s thoughts. I really think it’s just an adjustment for my parents. Although my mom sacrificed smoking so I could be born, it resulted in early childhood Asthma. Now I did power points in high school about Autism. Now even though she knows who it was, for me it felt like my brother wanted to repeat preschool to high school.
At the time of this blog, my girlfriend and I are waiting 6 weeks left to tell my parents and her mom. Now I started this blog to give a middle finger and to help someone named Katie Elokhina learn English. Katie isn’t Autistic and she can’t swim but I have a cult following online!
Now Alex is a registered Democrat and so am I. He’s met my girlfriend and told me about Thug Kitchen and she’s my “one” although I came out 3 years ago instead of “Sam, I support you.” from my parents, I got “We don’t care, you moved out!” it made me upset because my 20th present was my favorite birthday present and my dad paid for my trip to New York. Plus they give me a hard time about my friendship with Nelson. Now Katie is just a year older than me but she was one of the easier ones because although we met on Facebook, 3 Days later David Yost came out! I don’t like him in that way but I told Ron Wasserman he talks like he has a Sinus Infection! The Late Kevin Conroy feels like my Gay Dad!
Now Santa is a volunteer and although he’s a baby boomer and my therapist told me to continue ignoring him. Last year my mom stood up for me during Passover and even though I’m keeping y’all in the dark about February 3rd 2024 Here are all the New Foods I tried this year! My girlfriend and I marathoned How to Train Your Dragon Movies and my college brother Alex gave me a cow for my collection!
So what are the new foods I tried this year?
Ant Brittle
Chicken Sukiyaki (Teriyaki Place)
Strawberry White Boston Cake
Mini Fruit Jelly
Chicken Curry (Teriyaki Place)
Alligator Jerky
Ants
Crickets
Super Worms
Scorpions
Scorpions
Laotian Beef Jerky
Ping Seen
S’mores Cake
Trader Joe’s Pickled Pups
Coconut Milk
Mushroom Elixir called Alive
Apple Sidra
Dried Strawberries
Lemon Parfait
Chicken Feet
Cookie Dough Cake
Lemon Cake
Shilanti Cake
Brisket from JJ Mahoney’s
Magic Spoon
Mash Sparkling Juice
Merci Chocolate
Laotian Pork Sausage
Rasmali Pastry
Thai Street Corn Salad
Turkish Delight
Chipotle Sweet Potato Salad
Black Pepper Frog Legs
Cacao Juice
Dark Chocolate Sunflower Seed butter cups
Lemon Mousse cake
Caramel Apple Lemonade (Via Red Robin)
Tsunami Shrimp (Via Red Robin which my girlfriend believes I can recreate)
Cauliflower Latkes
Pear Cider
Kung Pao Brussels Sprouts
TJ Cheeseburger Burrito
Mango Smoothie from TJ’s
Beef Wellington
Herb Jelly
Camel Jerky
And now… A Glimpse into 2024 and the first post of January will reveal my figure total!
Kevin Conroy was one of the few times in pop culture I suffered the 5 stages of Basic grief over. Even though I left the closet 3 years ago, I was angry at how my parents reacted to my coming out. My mom should have known better than to tell my Uncle Ralph even if one of her sons is Gay. Karma got to my dad as the guy who I thought was cute in high school is now his co-worker.
The crush expired as soon as he gave me a ride home from the all night senior party. Wether I can find a job or not I plan on doing a year long Batman Marathon. Kicking it off with the Pattinson Batman. On February 3rd, My mom wants a Meatloaf lunch and my dad will be told via FaceTime. Although my parents divorced 16 years ago, they remained friends.
While they do like my girlfriend, they can’t baby me when I tell them as this is my life!
Although I wanted to be a comedian from a young age, I also considered being a history Teacher or Rabbi. No matter what age I was, I always seem to have the teen angst of “What do you want?” when it comes to my immediate family. The comedian in me calls my brother King Scrotum because 1) He went bald as a result of bullying me and 2) My parents let him get away with it!
One Stereotype I hate about modern Autism is that we’re all good with Math and like Yu-gi-oh. My brother built everyone decks and purposely made mine the weakest. Next year Yugioh GX will be covered as well as…
2012 was the year I met Nelson and longtime readers know that we’re best friends. Now I LOVE the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but although my brother choses to act like he’s in 2nd grade, Nelson doesn’t. Thus I think it’s his soul that’s Jewish. I DID see Nelson for his birthday and although he moved away from Seattle, I always remember his birthday because of this
Now when demographic appropriate for power rangers, my favorite was Tommy but in Middle School and High School it was Adam. Singe technically I am a bisexual male, the reason I am open about it is because after I got bullied by a friend after he came out as Gay and didn’t give a shit when someone in my synagogue killed herself!
So what did Jason David Frank miss out on besides my comedy career? Well I talk to Ron Wasserman all the time on Facebook and he’s a nice guy. There’s a joke shop called Archie McPhee. Most people know Seattle for Pike Place Market and the Space Needle. Should Ron Wasserman come to my wedding, make sure to Stop by a place called Dick’s Drive in!
Although my parents had a hard time with it, it’s been 3 years since I came out. All the arguments my brother and I had growing up have lead me to do standup comedy, Sam’s thoughts and even if we don’t get married during Passover, you bet your ass Matzoh Ball Soup is on the menu!
My Mentor is Transgender. His name is Wayne Daniels (Birth Name Wendy Daniels) he’s also on the Autism Spectrum. When JK Rowling made those comments 3 years ago I was angry because Harry Potter played a titular role in my childhood.
Just to remind you guys, Harry Potter and the 7 years of Bullshit Chapter 8 is called The Bar Mitzvah of Harry James Patter and Vice President Scrotum. Expect lots of gay banter in it!
Wayne might be 24 years my senior but he’s getting a copy of this blog. Not only did I propose but she said yes! Although Wayne has known me for 15 years, I have one younger brother who is the exact opposite of me!
Yugioh GX will be covered in English as well as Season 4!
I know I say this every Chapter but Harry Potter and the 7 years of Bullshit isn’t for Children! Now even though I left the closet at the start of the pandemic, the republicans and the religious need to know there are more than 2 genders!
Before we start the chapter, I’m going to talk about my personal coming out. Although I interviewed my Cousin Steve about being Gay, I have always identified as Bi since the age of 17. In Harry Potter, You’re legally an adult at the age of 17. Now I call my associate’s degree, OLS, OBS because the director was a massive antisemite!
Now my mom guilt trips me because she thought I had a crush on a conservative I’m still friends with. Now my mom is very overprotective of me because I’m on the Autism Spectrum and I got angry because my dad ended up working with someone I had a crush on in high school. Now look, I’m not going to reveal my birthday on this blog but my parents let my brother get away with bad behavior towards people with Autism.
Now when it comes to my relationship with my mom, she should know that I was angry with her for outing me to my Uncle Ralph. My dad simply didn’t give a damn. Now I want to make this clear, my mom hates my best friend. I’m not talking about Nelson, Katie Elokhina.
So how did I get her to stop hating Katie, at least somewhat. Now my mom has a stubborn streak but she also could spoil something at the drop of a hat! Although Sam’s thoughts is my idea, I know the pros and cons of each of my family members!
Now I’ve been Facebook friends with Katie since August 22, 2010 and 3 Days later David Yost revealed he got bullied while filming. Billy isn’t my favorite power ranger. So I got my mom to stop harassing her since even though I’m out of the closet. I helped mentor Katie in English!
Even though my parents are still alive, I wanted something to fit the times and not be a Jewish Stereotype!
7 years of Bullshit is my girlfriend’s challenge but her golden rule is no Drama. Now if you’re a Harry Potter fan, the world of Middle Earth is a lot more diverse. With that said, let’s get rolling!
July 31, 1992
What the hell! I shouted at the top of my lungs to Aunt Petunia. Why didn’t you tell me I have a g-d damn godfather!
Step Uncle Howard said, “Harry your Aunt Petunia did this to protect you. As long as your with her, your mom’s magic protects you.”
Draco came over with Dobby. “Harry, dude. You do have a godfather you know.”
Tell me about him, I said!
“His name is Sirius Black, him and your mom and dad were all Gryffindors! They were all 21, bro!”
Oh Fuck! I said, “Why did my parents and godfather have to all be in g-d damn Gryffindor. Gryffindor sucks!”
You know it broski! Draco said.
I went over to Ron Weasley and apologized for punching him last year. Ron, could I see your Rat for a sec?
Snape was watching me.
I pulled out my wand, Diapingus Mechajesus! I said.
The rat turned into an old man.
Holy Shit! You’re Harry Potter. Please, Spare me son!
Why did you frame my parents, dipshit?
“Language, Potter” Snape Set
“Tell me why you framed them!” I said.
Peter Pettigrew started laughing, “I did it because it was fun, boy!” Voldemort is coming for you… and you’d better pay the price of the damage you’re doing in Chicago!
Snape came over to me, “Way to intimidate an ex Gryffindor Mr. Potter. I’m very impressed by the way you control your mind. Now I give you 100 points towards Slytherin! Allow me to teach you one of my own spells. Sectumsempra! As if out of nowhere, A sword Slashed Peter Pettigrew and killed him!
Ron Weasley started to vomit.
“My family had that rat for 12 years! What the hell did you for?” He said.
“Swearing in front of a professor Mr. Weasley” Snape said raising his eyebrows. Do you think your name is Nelson Amador Jr? Go to Madam Gilliland’s office while I think of a reasonable detention for you!
Juneteenth 1993
Hermione Granger was with me and we were watching A quidditch match. Gryffindor VS Hufflepuff “Harry, do you think Quidditch is boring?” She asked.
Kinda, I said.
“Where were you raised again, Florida?” She said.
Seattle but I went to the same elementary school as Anthony Goldstein.
“What’s Elementary School.” She said
It’s a type of school in America where you go until your 10. Aren’t you Muggle Born? So why were you sorted into Ravenclaw. Hermione told me she had a crush on Someone named Tom Felton.
Who the hell is Tom Felton? I asked
I think you should go out with the Author of this fan fiction, I said he’s had the hots for this Emma Watson person since he was a teenager.
“What would they do?”
Well do know that him and this Daniel Radcliffe person are both Jewish but let me assuage you to go out with the offer of this fan fiction. Before the Author’s 21st birthday his dog will die.
That’s Horrible, Harry! He must have been traumatized!
I can’t remember the dog’s name but I know it starts with an F.
Finster? Hermione suggested.
Ah Fuck! I said, why can’t I remember it. It’s a mutt!
Fluffy? Hermione Suggested.
Why is my memory all fuzzy? I said aloud.
That’s the name of the dog! Hermione said. The Author has something called Asperger Syndrome and he’s legally blind.
How do you know this?
His talks about having Autism will lead to him getting bullied in college.
Jesus Christ, Hermione! I said
Harry, don’t take the lord’s name in vain. I’m a staunch catholic. The author is probably a Jew.
Chapter 8 The Bar Mitzvah of Harry James Potter
Author’s note: My girlfriend is aware that my celebrity crush is Emma Watson. Although my Cousin Steve is openly gay, he’s 6′ 5″. Now even though I haven’t had a boyfriend, I interviewed my cousin and he lives all the way in Washington D. C.
Now even though I experienced same sex attractions starting during puberty. Because I’m a comedian I’ll do the rule of 3. Did I have a crush on Jason David Frank? Fuck No!
Hayden Christensen actually CAN act. Shattered glass is a movie where he prooved he has talent. Disney actually gave him good Material!
The Hemsworth Brothers
Now in order to come out properly, I broke up with my girlfriend because she just wanted sex and told me I shouldn’t think of Nelson as my brother. Now long time readers know that my parents are divorced. The first person to say the word “support” was my college buddy Alex.
My girlfriend’s golden rule is no drama except in books. My golden rule is must be interested in anime. Now even though I’m open about it, my age of realization was high school.
Although I came out 3 months into covid, I have no intent of cheating on my girlfriend. Now there’s a Jewish Lesbian who I cried in front of and she has an autistic brother. Now Shattering the Ice is an LGBT book, it’s also my Autism Story. My girlfriend hasn’t had a boyfriend but my biggest pet peeve is overgrown 2 year olds.
Now there’s a reason why I wouldn’t out myself to my brother!
My brother is 3 years younger than me. My parents told him about the divorce first and although I had to live with him in college, he treats me like I’m still in diapers. Even though you can’t control who you’re related to, my father didn’t care and my mother wanted to know who I was interested in!
Here’s why I wasn’t interested in Nelson!
Now my girlfriend is black and the overarching theme of our wedding is going to be Black and Jewish. The late Dwayne McDuffy intended Richie Folley/Gear to be Gay. Now because Nelson has known me since college and was impressed by my writing, I still make him laugh because even though I have what I call Autism soft topics and Autism hard topics. Even Nelson knows what his parents are doing to me is inappropriate!
Because of my friendship with Nelson knows where power rangers came from and that’s Japan. My own brother believes I belong in a concentration camp! The show power rangers came from is called Super Sentai. It has an older brother show called Kamen Rider. Now even though I’m looking for employment, I volunteer in the kitchen!
Now 7 years ago. I lost someone to suicide and her name was Alexandra Olson. Alexandra’s grandparents were holocaust survivors and with that said, it remains one of the darkest days of my life. I started Sam’s thoughts because everyone deserves the right to happiness. Now look, now matter what you come out as, there’s always going to be some backlash!
Now I would never out someone… EVER but my girlfriend wants to get into the University of Washington. Although this is the blog of a Jewish Comedian on the Autism Spectrum, nobody made me bi. My parents are alive but my memoir is my story and it won’t be on Sam’s thoughts
Now that we’re on Chapter 7, I still want you guys to remember that this is a fan fiction and it’s not for Children!
Dumbledore’s office with Snape and Petunia present
“Harry, you must understand. Lily and James protecting you, you should be so fortunate to have a sister to look out for you! I watched my own sister die as a young man.” Dumbledore said.
“Shut the fuck up Grandpa” I sad to Dumbledore with a shit eating grin “I know you like it in the rear.” So go do it with Caesar Romero! Snape looked like I just broke my nintendo and gave him a concussion!
“We are trying to keep you safe from Voldemort, Mr. Potter!” Snape said.
“What the hell is a voldemort? Some sort of genital wart?” I sad.
McGonagall came up drinking what looked like a staircase drinking a Starbucks, “Voldemort is responsible for the death of your parents on Halloween 1981, Dumbledore found you at your parents and made sure you went safely to you your aunt Petunia’s in Boston!” Professor McGonagall said.
“Oh for fuck’s sake!” I said, “How many times do I have to tell you shitheads? I’m from Seattle!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “You withheld my own parents names from me until now and tell me them? All you care about are your g-d damn paychecks! Snape, I bet Dumbledore’s keeping you around since you clearly just have the hots for my mom!
“Harry, we talked about your language problem.” Aunt Petunia said. She then let out a scream. “Get that damn rat out of here!” she said. Aunt Petunia checked her skirt for feces. “Whoever owns that rat is so fucking dead! I hate rats!” Ron Weasley looked up, The Hufflepuff robes were only matched by his red hair.
“I’m so sorry ma’am!” he said. “Scabbers likes to run off. Mum and Dad gave him to me as this is my first year at Hogwarts.”
“What the hell are you doing in Dumbledore’s office anyway?” I asked. Aunt Petunia gave me a stern look.
“Look Harry, my dad’s fascinated by muggles and you happen to be raised by them.” he said
“What’s your point?” I sneered
“Look Harry there’s a few different types of wizards at Hogwarts and Muggles don’t have magic, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad. There’s pureblood families like the Malfoys and they think just because they’re wealthy and own a house elf doesn’t mean anything. If you wanted to free it, just give it some clothing!”
I continued to look and listen to Ron. “Then there’s half-bloods. They have one Muggle born or Muggle parent. Professor Dumbledore’s a half-blood. Then there’s Muggle Borns. Like Moaning Myrtle who haunts the girl’s bathroom on the third floor! “I heard a mudblood was the inventor of Black Friday Mexican food!” I said. Ron stuck his middle finger at me, “Consider that a warning Harry Potter! That’s as bad as calling a Jewish person a-” Anthony Goldstein was walking by “You were going to call me that, weren’t you Weasley?” Anthony pulled out his wand and cast a non verbal spell and it began to look like Ron was growing breasts, “Whoa… Looks like Ron is really a Rhonda.”
“Very amusing but very sexist Mr. Goldstein.” Dumbledore said. I just realized that Anthony and I were friends at my elementary school, Ben Rush. Dumbledore deducted 20 points from Ravenclaw. Anthony gave Dumbledore the finger but got off Scott Free
June 9, 1992
“Jesus, Harry.” Draco said, “When the hell is Dad coming to get us?” Draco said.
I shrugged my shoulder and offered Draco a Reese’s peanut butter cup. “Don’t tell your dad, but I have plenty of Muggle candy.” I said. I cleaned my glasses. “Do you want to see the Mariners game with me this summer?” I asked. We were playing the Detroit tigers
“Mariners, Harry?” Draco said, “Why would I want to visit Seattle to see a bunch of muggle sailors unless you think I’m gay!” he said.
“Draco, they’re a baseball team you dolt!” I said
Dobby appeared
“Young master and Harry Potter must come immediately. Lucius got lost! Master Lucius is a very talented wizard but he doesn’t have the thing that muggles have that but he desperately wants one.
“A Car.” I said being very deadpan. “If wizardry is so damn amazing, how come none of you have had driver’s licenses?” I asked Dobby
“Dobby does not know sir.” Dobby said
“This Mariners game should be quite fascinating, Harry.” Draco said.
Draco and I had to babysit my stepcousins Sam and Dan again. Even though Dan is a toddler, the author of this fan fiction’s friend Jay thinks that the way an actor named Daniel Radcliffe talks, he just wants to punch him and the author of this fan fiction finds this amusing and agrees.
“If they make a movie about Hawee, I’m going to be him!” Dan said. “Are you hunting Wabbits, Elmer Fudd?” Sam said for rebuttal. I just put on The Simpsons. What Aunt Petunia doesn’t know is I put The Simpsons on to pacify Sam but Dan insists on watching this show that we saw in Japan!
July 28, 1992
“Young Master and Harry Potter must get ready to go to the Mariners game today!” Dobby said
“Dobby for fuck’s sake, it’s 3 in the fucking morning!” I said. I gave Dobby a Red Sox cap and told him to sneak us a bunch of food.
“Shit! Do you realize what you just did? You freed a house elf by giving them clothing!” Draco said.
“Thanks for the hat dude!” Dobby said. “Is this a yarmulke?” he said
“No it’s a Baseball cap.” I said
“Right on!” Dobby said. “Not to worry bros, I got you covered in terms of food for the game against the Sox! Dobby snapped his fingers
“Oh g-d dammit!” I said
“Harry what’s wrong?” Dobby’s going to annoy the hell out of everyone at the Mariner’s Game as Fran Drescher!
“Harry honey would you rather I went as Christopher Walken?” Dobby said in disguise. I told him it was fine and changed into my lucky sports Jersey.
“Harry, did you let Dan and Sam watch The Simpsons again?” Step Uncle Howard said
“Maybe!”
July 31, 1992
“Harry, there’s something important we need to discuss now that you’re 12.” Aunt Petunia said.
“Let me guess,” I said. “I’m adopted. My parents aren’t really Lily and James.”
Aunt Petunia and Step Uncle Howard shook their heads
“You’ve got a godfather named Sirius Black, dude!” Dobby Said
I shouted what the hell at the top of my lungs
Author’s note: I always found Dobby and house elves in general to be one of the more red flags of the Harry Potter books. My buddy Jay has compared Dobby to the likes of Jar Jar Binks.
Now Jay also pointed out the way Daniel Radcliffe talks and it’s not just his accent, makes Jay want to punch him. Now if Jay did punch Daniel Radcliffe, he could easily press charges! I happen to agree with him. Had I been cast as Harry I would have been far more humble! Now according to the books, I would probably spend a lot of time in the Hospital Wing due to cat allergies.
Now Jay and I agree that the plot of the first book is more or less the plot of Karate Kid. The books don’t shy away from the fact that Harry was bad at his homework. Now I always didn’t like doing homework for college, elementary school, middle school or high school and I always looked forward to Saturday Morning and my synagogue did Sunday School and that’s how I studied for my Bar Mitzvah!
Now Jay and another person I’m not allowed to mention on Sam’s thoughts have known me since summer 2002 but Jay thought I was already 17 when he was 9 but the reason Harry Potter and the 7 years of Bullshit is because the only book where Aunt Petunia defends Harry is the 5th book.
Now JK Rowling is 58 and her outburst 3 years ago was one of the rare times I got angry and the reason I was angry is because my aunt gave me two of the books but passed away in 2018.
Now I have good relationships with my cousins and I started Sam’s thoughts so I could be myself. Because 7 years of Bullshit has a different end game. Voldemort is important but I based Harry off my brother and Daniel LaRusso for this version because even though Harry is 17 by the time we get to Deathly Hallows, he still acts like an 8 year old!
Now one of the books I read this year was Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality which is by an Orthodox Jewish computer Scientist and the Orthodox will not acknowledge the reform movement. Now I am reform-jewish buddhist and even though this is fan fiction, mine is made to show the stuff I think doesn’t make sense!
Next Chapter: Why the fuck didn’t you tell me I have godfather?
The following blog post is to introduce myself to Ayanna and Ashlee, 2 staff of Bellevue Clubhouse. Now I have been volunteering since Thanksgiving 2016. 7 months prior I lost a very close friend to suicide who knew me as if I was her nephew. Her name was Alexandra Olson and she was the granddaughter of holocaust survivors! Because Ayanna and Ashlee got to see Quinn’s introduction, I thought I might spruce things up!
High School!
While the Gamble twins brag that they went to Lincoln High, the same high school as Simpsons Creator Matt Groening, can they say they accomplished as much? I was in my student newspaper 4 times, lettered in skiing and spoke on the 3rd Anniversary of 9/11. Now the summer before my junior year, my comedy career took off and during my junior year, my health teacher wanted us to choose a topic which we wanted to do. Originally I was thinking heterochromia iridium. A condition in which someone will have two different irises! I decided on Asperger Syndrome and I opened with a joke, Aspeger’s followed by several mispronunciations and have the class say it correctly. I would then tell them jokingly it’s a Butt sandwich in Austria. While I was our first world culture president, I also did my own comedy show and would graduate with a B grade point average.
My Parents get a divorce!
Now my parents met on April 29th, 1984 at my cousin Janet’s wedding and got married in November 1985. Now for my 18th birthday you’d think I’d do something freeing like buying a carton of cigarettes or something, all I did because my birthday was go out for sushi and got a t-shirt that read “runs with lightsaber!” As both Ayanna and Ashlee have noticed my memory in action, this is their cue to know I have eyesight trouble and am on the Autism Spectrum! I’ve been doing standup since I was 16 and although my jokes can be raunchy I am never afraid to speak my mind! In fact I was the kid who got bullied!
Now I was somewhat lucky when my parents divorced. They were able to remain friends after and it wasn’t the result of a marital affair. My parents were just unhappy and while their arguments took their toll on their mental health, they tried hiding the arguments from my kid brother and I!
Now my younger brother works for NAMI. With that said, my parents more or less let him get away with bad behavior. Now our age gap is I’m 3 years his senior. 3 years is not a big gap and it’s a reasonable age gap but when he was little he would say things like “You’re adopted” to Nazi goose stepping and now at 31 he still acts like he’s in 2nd grade and his own mother puts him on a pedestal. Because he bullied me and took advantage of living with me in college and is just really nasty to everyone, I just call him King Scrotum.
Before we talk about my 20s, I’m going to go over some millennial/gen z FAQs
Do I like anime? Hell yes!
Do I like video games? Occasionally…
Am I a movie buff? Yes!
Have I left the country? Yes!
Do I have any friends online that have made an impact?
Do I think Billie Eilish is great?
Do I like to read?
You bet your ass
Do I enjoy movies?
Damn Skippy
Do I still perform comedy?
Yeah
Is my parents divorce the worst thing to happen to me?
No!
Are we going to cover it?
Yes!
I am Fuzzy, I am a power ranger!
My dog Fuzzy meant everything to me. He was a Pomeranian Chihuahua Mix given to me for my 20th birthday. Now I have to accept the fact that I’ll never be able to drive a car. Although I only had Fuzzy for 11 months, in those 11 months he found his true master and I experienced sibling love. Fuzzy would pass of a seizure and I had to deal with the 5 stages of grief on top of the homework!
Russia and South Carolina join forces to get me back on my feet!
Now I had a hard time celebrating my 21st birthday because Fuzzy was 2 months dead but the person were about to talk about considers me her best friend and although I wanted to go out with her, I knew it wouldn’t work out the person we’re going to talk about is Katie Elokhina!
Katie lives all the way in Russia and only 3 other members know about her. She has an 8 year old son thus making me an Uncle at 26. The reason why I’m ok with people knowing I’m autistic and legally blind is because media is slowly becoming better at portraying Autistic people and not just the person who’s a nerd or a loner. Cobra Kai’s Eli Moskowitz/Hawk is a great example!
Now even though Katie lives all the way in Russia, we have a lot of the same interests and I agreed to teach her how to make Mexican Food when she arrives. What I’m going to surprise her with, is Jelly Belly jelly beans. During my fall quarter I was applying for a birthright tour. They ask you questions such as
Were you Bar or Bat Mitzvahed
Are you Reform, Conservative or Orthodox Jewish
Is your mom Jewish
Is your dad Jewish
Now I’ve had my fair share of BLTs and Slices of Pepperoni Pizza but Katie was someone I liked in that way and while she’s married, she was single when we met. Although I promised her all these things, I plan to keep these promises. Katie had a hard time speaking in English but she could write fractured English such as the comment she left on Facebook! 3 Days after we became friends, the original blue power ranger (Actor David Yost “Billy” the nerd) would reveal behind the scenes homophobia!
I wish for you to have amazing trip to Israel, Sam 🙂
Birthright!
From December 15-26 I was on my birthright tour. For lack of better words, those 10 days were magic. Although I wouldn’t come back to Seattle until 1 in the morning, I was exhausted. My mom would see Katie as taboo until last year. Now my mom’s biggest pro is the love she gives her two sons but she can be stubborn and set in her ways. One thing I pointed out to her only to get a “good point, son” look on her face was when I said “Mom without The Godfather, all gangster movies would probably look like filthy animal from Home Alone.
Birthright is where Sam Kanter the boy was left behind and Sam Kanter the man returned home. Now I’ve been bullied by other Jewish people, not just my own brother. I’ve been bullied by other people with bipolar disorder but if you learn how to play it up for a laugh, it’s like catching a fly with chopsticks!
All people with Autism are the same! Where the fuck do you think I was born Uranus? You can go to hell, I hear the fried rice is fantastic and I hear they put pineapple in their coleslaw!
Now I was only 16 when I started my standup comedy career and I’m the only one in my family who has the patience of a priest! Now the “All people with Autism are the same” was actually said to me in college. It wasn’t by a student but by a director. Now I don’t get angry or have a loose temper but this caused me to go from 0 to 60 and rightfully so. Now a lot of my bullying was verbal growing up. Now I think the reason why the instructor made this comment is because she was going through a divorce! She was just looking for someone to lash out at and she happened to know that I have Autism and Eyesight trouble and happened to be within a close proximity!
The following 3 people Ayanna and Ashlee will learn about and only one of them is autistic. Now I started this blog in Fall 2013, I post recipes and things like that even movie theories. Since we have a clip from the Karate Kid, if you really think about it Mr. Miyagi needed Daniel just as much as Daniel needed Mr. Miyagi! Daniel needed a dad and Mr. Miyagi needed a son! The following 3 people are invited but we’re saving the best man for last!
Although we’re not related by blood, Katie and I go back to Summer 2009. I was her first and only friend during our college days. Once we started talking she began teasing me about being a nerd. Although she said she had a brain injury and she had to start everything from scratch, the day of her accident October 17, 2003, was just another day of high school for me! She was smoking marijuana and was hit by a car! Katie flew 10 feet in the air
Now when I first met Katie her accident already happened and she actually prevented me from snapping at a student who was lower functioning than me. Now while when I first met her, I thought Katie might be deaf or have cerebral palsy because of the way she talks. Because we’re the other’s bestie, her ex was cheating on her with a younger partner at the time and I playfully punched him before they broke up.
Katie’s favorite foods are Thai and Sushi and I promised her that I would introduce the best man to Thai food after he graduated. Sushi is my forte and although I would like it to be served at clubhouse, I hope it’s a possibility but we might have to use cooked fish!
Now both Katie and I hated our director. Katie basically called her a bitch. Not wanting to sugarcoat anything, I actually took my venom out through script writing and because the last thing the director did before graduating was schedule an alumni pizza dinner on the first night of Passover, was more or less the reason I would refer to her as “The Forever Nazi” in my scripts!
Holy Shit! It’s Prince Aladdin!
Now the joke that won Alex over was, “I was kicked out of rabbinical school for a calamari and jelly belly jelly bean overdose!” Now there are approximately 332 million people in the United States and the craziest thing about Alex and I is we have the EXACT same family dynamic! One of two siblings, got bullied by the sibling and divorced parents. Now Alex isn’t autistic but he showed me in his own way that it’s ok to be both the funniest guy in the room and also the smartest!
Now I met Alex in September 2012 and our friendship took off from there. This was long before JK Rowling revealed she was Transphobic. As much as I still enjoy Harry Potter, you must separate the art from the artist. The plot of Sorcerer/Philosopher’s Stone is the Karate Kid. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is basically Empire Strikes Back with the hidden agenda going, 1-800 I Hate Gay People! Now Harry Potter 5 (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) is just the pilot of power rangers with Antisemitism and since Alex is going to be one of my groomsmen, we need to talk about my best man!
It’s Nelson time!
Now I want to make one thing perfectly clear, the power rangers aren’t my favorite superheroes! How much I know about them is what won Nelson over. Now I met Nelson 1 month before a breakup in college. Nelson had to commute 5 hours from school and back and not once did I ever see him get irritable with another student!
Now King Scrotum was the loudest baby recorded for Swedish Hospital records in 1992 and Nelson was born 6 months later. Now when I was getting to know Nelson, I found out he was born exactly one year before Mighty Morphin Power Rangers premiered. Another student gave him a hard time for being Hispanic. Now Nelson and I agreed never to discuss politics since he’s conservative and I’m liberal. Now even though Nelson’s parents don’t like me, it’s their loss! Now Nelson I’ve made laugh several times, cooked for him several times and he has seen all the stuff I collected and we watched several movies together!
Why do I call Nelson my brother and wish my own brother would stop acting like a 2nd grader?!
Now because of my religious beliefs (Jewish Buddhist) I have to honor the day my dog Fuzzy passed away, (February 11th, 2010) The next day my brother 18. Now I don’t think this is a coincidence, while I’m fortunate to never have had covid, I’m a joke at my own brother’s expense. During Passover I eat lots of Mexican Food or Fried Rice. You can even make Nachos out of Matzoh. Now if my brother actually liked me he’d say, “My older brother’s legally blind autistic and went on to invent Black Friday Mexican Food!” Instead I hear him telling someone over skype and it’s only him and me and I hear “I love my brother but I can’t stand him after 5 minutes.”
Now even though my brother takes everyone in our immediate family for granted. He takes advantage of the fact that I’m the oldest so he can avoid getting into trouble with the parents. He’s snarky to my mom and when my dad moved away to Arizona, I don’t think he ever got over it OR my parents divorce. Now I revealed I spent my 18th birthday getting sushi and getting a t-shirt. Now my birthday can align itself with Passover, now I wouldn’t get Pizza on the years it aligns with it, I have to find a way to celebrate! So what did my brother do for his 18th birthday? I found a dirty magazine in the living room of my dad’s house… the jerkus maximus!
2019!
Now I turned 30 shortly after the Seattle Snowstorm, Throughout Covid and the snowstorm, I felt like I was in prison. I have never been to prison but Nelson always has to send texts like “Hey man, my parents need me so I can’t attend your birthday but I hope it’s a good one.” Now my family knows that Nelson’s a Republican and the agreement we made right from the beginning is we don’t discuss political differences.
Nelson was actually raised in a very sheltered household but one thing I latched onto was his soul. Now in between his classes I would hear him laugh at videos on his tablet and that laughter would crack me up. Now I am a huge movie nut and could tell you a lot of different things about behind the scenes about movies. Now because I have a photographic memory and growing up I looked up to my Uncle Aaron and you’re going to learn about the pact I made with Nelson!
To this day, I think of our snowstorm as Elsa’s Mensural Cycle. While I give Let it go is a good coming out song. Elsa might be our first aromantic asexual Disney character. Since this is Ayanna and Ashlee’s introductory read to me, just because I threw some videos containing videos from Pokemon and Power Rangers doesn’t give you the right to treat me like I’m in elementary school. Power Rangers was one of the saving graces from elementary school, in addition to 4 eyes, I heard Sam has Cancer and it’s all because of how my last name is mispelled!
What was the pact made by Sam and Nelson when Sam was about to graduate?
Now Nelson is the oldest of 4! His sisters have had Quinceneras and he was relieved that I thought his sister was cute. The last thing we did before the pandemic began was dinner and a movie. Now keep in mind when you’re with me, the meal is just as important as the movie. You could enjoy the food and still see a bad movie. You can have bad food and go see a good movie!
Now in January 2012, I started donating blood at the time of this blog’s publishing, I’ve donated 34 times. Now Nelson and I have both been stereotyped by others. Nelson was stereotyped by a student who is an ex best friend and I face stereotypes just by being Jewish from Nelson’s family and people in the street.
Now I met Nelson in May 2012 and once we became the family the other needed I had an idea. We agreed that we would be the best man at the other’s wedding. Now my rule when I get married is the bride doesn’t have to be Jewish, just appreciate the culture. I actually had trouble concentrating in synagogue studying for my Bar Mitzvah. The Junior Rabbi at the time told me, “There isn’t a blessing for The Simpsons, but your compassion for them will be rewarded later in life!” 15 years and 72 laps in the pool later, I came up with The History of The Simpsons on my blog! That Rabbi is who will lead the ceremony during my Wedding!
Now there’s no blessing for Power Rangers either but the day they premiered is Nelson’s birthday. The deal I made Nelson is no matter what happens to the other one, we’re the best man at the other’s wedding. If someone made a YouTube or TikTok video of Nelson and I together, it would be the funniest and most wholesome thing you ever saw. In fact Nelson is a key witness to something I did since I started living on my own!
2014!
During my college days each of us had an internship, Nelson’s was at Yuen Lui Photography and mine was at the Museum of Flight. Now I actually ran into our director 3 times after I graduated and while during my internship I saw How to Train Your Dragon 2 for Father’s Day and I saw Boyhood with my Uncle Aaron that summer. When I told him about knowing Nelson for 2 years he said something like this for rebuttal, “2 years? 2 years! The way you two have bonded, I’d have thought the two of you have known each other since Kindergarten!”
Now everyone knows what happened on August 11, 2014. Robin Williams would pass away. I never met him but my all time favorite movie of his is definitely and without hesitation, Mrs. Doubtfire/ Now not only is it a very funny movie but it also works as a good transgender movie. My mentor, Wayne Daniels is a transgender male and he has seen me hang out with Nelson and the last movie I saw with Nelson before leaving for my Uncle’s was Guardians of the Galaxy 1!
Now if I were to organize a pizza party, Nelson would make sure everyone gets to the party safely and Alex would make sure everyone gets a topping of choice! That’s why they are more than just my college besties. The two Katies, Nelson and Alex are my brothers and sisters. Nelson has met some of my cult following online. Now I want to make this clear, Nelson’s date of move to Texas was April 20th according to Facebook. Social Media has become a very toxic place. Nelson’s soul is very Jewish and because I keep my thoughts to myself, when we were watching the Beavis and Butthead movie, Nelson was laughing at the movie and his sister snapped at him!
Now I graduated first and I met someone on the way to an arcade named Alexandra Olson. She would be the only person who is of my parents generation who would believe me about my pen pal Katie in Russia, know why Super Sentai is important to me and see the stuff I have apartment as important and also believe me about the abuse I have from my own brother.
2016!
Everyone I know has some sort of 2016 horror story and while I don’t want to dive into politics there are 5 big things to happen that year.
1 My 3 Gallon Donation pin!
Now I have donated blood on a regular basis and have reached the 4 Gallon mark and hope to have Gallon number 5 by the time I’m in my 40a. Now I wasn’t exactly Mr. Popular in college and I broke down and cried because I really wanted people to listen to why blood donations are important. Everyone would freak out and ignore me and I cried during my final. Now I started collecting pins and buttons because while they look beautiful, I use them as a reminder that I had a toxic brother who will hopefully stop putting on his huggies and behave himself like an actual brother! Or not!
Now my action figure collection started when I was in 4th grade and right now I have approximately 5k Pieces. There’s a staff named Keenan Solomon who has challenged me to have 10,000 by the time I am a senior citizen. Now I was interviewed about it my freshman year, my brother’s dog tried to nibble out of it sophomore year only to get an “Oh you should have shut your door!” from my parents and used it in comedy my junior year! Now I finished a subsection of the collection in 2016
3 Boys only Deadpool Night and Nelson’s graduation
Now Nelson would graduate 2 years after I did and although he lives in Texas now! The pact still stands because he treated me like family and I do the same. Now one thing I invented was Black Friday Mexican food. I don’t have a single ounce of Hispanic ancestry but my starting style as a cook was Mexican and I studied Spanish in High School!
Now here’s the thing you don’t know about Jewish people, we can detect good or bad Chinese restaurants like bomb sniffing dogs. I can actually make homemade Fried Rice and whip it up easily. Now at this time I would like to recommend a Chinese Restaurant; Spicy Talk Bistro. Spicy Talk is in the Kirkland area and I got Michael Brown to try it. He forgot to text me that he enjoyed it but for newcomers I highly recommend their dry spicy Sichuan Wontons, Singapore Rice Noodles and Sauteed Green Beans!
Now I’ve always been a jokester and I also had a B grade point average in high school. In College I did 10 leadership conferences behind the director’s back because she was a massive bitch and her antisemitism was as obvious as Elton John’s homosexuality! Lion King rocks and that’s how I was introduced to him!
RIP Happy and Alexandra
Nelson lost his dog Happy and I lost Alexandra Olson. Now when I met Nelson, Fuzzy was already 2 years dead. I made sure Nelson got to go through the 5 stages of grief for his dog Happy. Nelson posted on Social Media that his dog Happy would be joined by Fuzzy and I’m sure the two of them have become as thick as thieves. Alexandra’s cause of death was suicide and her age at death was 53
53 is not particularly long life but she never got married but had 2 children. While alive, Alexandra considered my magnum opus to be my fish tacos and this coming from someone who grew up in San Luis Opisbo. Although she got to meet Nelson through a phone call. Now have Nelson and I had conflicts in our friendship, well 2. One was on him and the other was on me! Before we get to that point we have one more 2016 story and the last thing that happened before Covid…
Now I got into standup and theater to overcome social anxiety. I really want to be a voice actor for video games and anime, that was one of my dream jobs. I’d also want to host Saturday Night Live and my ideal dream guest would either be Eric Stuart (Brock/James from Pokemon, Gourry from Slayers and Seto Kaiba from Yugioh) now the other guest I had in mind was Ron Wasserman (Musical Composer from 90s X-Men and wrote a lot of music for the power rangers franchiuse)
Now what I wouldn’t learn until shortly before Kevin would pass away to intestine cancer at 66 is that he was gay. My synagogue had gay clerics. In 2002, our junior Rabbi was a recently ordained Rabbi from Minnesota and he was openly gay and he was no older than I am now. He had a summer torah study program and the golden rule at the end of the Torah Study is that if you signed up and attended the majority, you could go to a water park at summer’s end!
Now Kevin’s deep testosterone viral voice could narrate my life and I wanted to write my autobiography and call it Shattering the Ice. Unfortunately it has to be a book. Now I wanted Kevin to voice my dog Fuzzy and what I would want him to do is make him sound so intimidating but also very cutesy! Now most people know about Rabbis when they think of a synagogue but I can’t sing to save my life but there’s also what’s known as a Cantor (Not how my last name is spelled)! A Cantor is someone who will sing Jewish hymns during a service or possibly lead a wedding. The Cantor was someone who helped me grieve when Alexandra first died. Although she’s been dead for 7 years, there’s a flag pin collection in my kitchen to honor Alexandra’s life as well as a picture of the Genie above it since she actually went to the same high school as Robin himself!
Now I never got to meet Kevin Conroy but 66 is absolutely nothing! Kevin was just a few months younger than my mom! Now I never got to meet Kevin Conroy but if I did, I’d be the fan to talk his ear off! That’s how much he meant to me as Batman. Now I’d actually slip him my recipe for something like BBQ Chicken. Now cooking for me is therapy because I’ve come up with so many unique recipes. Now although Nelson and I grew up with the voice of Batman, his husband probably misses him more than anyone!
The last bro time before Covid…
Now the last time before Covid we had Tamale Pie and Matzoh Ball Soup as Dinner. Now I want to stress that Nelson’s parents are Antisemitic! Now I want to be clear, Nelson’s the only one who isn’t or else, why would I have made that deal about being best man at the other’s wedding? But I’m thankful I never got Covid but one of my online crowd is allergic to an ingredient within the vaccine and because we are going to talk about Covid. It’s not a topic I like talking about here on Sam’s thoughts but we have 3 things we’re going to talk about!
The Covid Vaccine!
Now I don’t have a temper but my father’s temper resulted in my claustrophobia. It also resulted in my brother becoming the bully. Hence why I call him King Scrotum even though I’m the older one. Now Nelson and Alex are aware fully of the drama my brother is capable of causing but he had covid once and if I got it, he’d either A) wouldn’t care or B) be more concerned about losing his favorite punching bag. Nelson’s parents are Lutheran Missionaries. When I received a text that Nelson refused to get it, it was one of the few times I get mad!
Raven!
Now I need to have a dog, I need to continue my collection and do some traveling! Now whenever I think about dogs that are dead, I listen to What a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong. Raven was a mutt and the mix was of an Italian breed named Cane Corso, A Pitbull and a Spanish Ibizan hound. Now Raven was a love dog and while I get along with both of my parents, my mom is the parent who I am more liable to get into an argument with!
Now when Raven was alive there’s what I call her mystery of New Year’s Eve. Neither my mom, my brother or myself know where she was hiding on New Year’s Eve. I was supposed to walk her on New Year’s Eve and normally it’s my tradition to count my action figure collection I started in 4th Grade. Now my 4th grade figurine collection is a blanket about being bullied and if you’ve been paying attention this was one topic I was bullied for!
Now my parents have different stubborn streaks when it comes to certain things and the two biggest two “Mom, you don’t get it!” were The Simpsons and Katie but not the one I went to coillege with! The Simpsons golden years were in the 90s and I wasn’t allowed to watch them growing up, my mom thought they were mean spirited and promoted back talk so my dad just went along with it!
Now Raven passed away on June 27, 2022 and it was the only time I heard my mom in tears through a phone call. The other time I saw her cry was while watching the movie Lion starring Dev Patel!
Now if I haven’t made it clear, my own brother doesn’t like me! His jealousy and ego according to my friend Jay is why he already has male pattern baldness. The reason why I call Nelson my brother is because he interviewed me about going on my birthright tour and when he tried Matzoh Ball soup for the first time you’d think he had been eating it since he was 7.
Now the other thing wasn’t something like doing drugs or a stash of dirty magazines. One of the most important days of my adult life was July 5, 2021. This was the first time I beat my mom at scrabble and this victory is something that means a lot to me because although you learn more with loss than defeat, there are 3 tips I give to people who want to be better at Scrabble 1) Keep Practicing 2) Take up a foreign language and 3) Instead of playing video games for an hour or so, read!
Now during my college days, in my freshman year I had to balance the 5 stages of grief on top of Freshman year homework but this is a case of my mom being overprotective as hell!
The hidden meaning of August 22, 2010!
Now I didn’t feel like celebrating my 21st birthday because my dog Fuzzy was dead. I wouldn’t meet Nelson until May 2012 and while alive my brother called him an alien now that doesn’t bother me because I can expect that from him. The day he died is the day before he turned 18 and when he turned 18, I found a dirty magazine in the living room like it was his driver’s license!
Now I have 3 online friends who made the difference that summer and the first one I met isn’t even American! Now someone in Fort Lauderdale named Anthony “Tony” DeLilis was the first person besides someone in Australia named Lex Louw helped me cope with my parents divorce. Tony’s parents are dead but I keep my out on him, Lex is also legally blind and on the Autism Spectrum and is fully aware of my love life. Now the person who were about to mention could speak English and write it, but speaking it was nerve wracking for her! Her name is Ekaterina “Katie” Elokhina!
Now I want to point something out, Katie is only one year older than me. No more no less! Now she wouldn’t get into power rangers and star wars until middle school, she would get into Japanese comic book characters in 2009 and I would take up the role of her English Teacher and later on best friend on August 22, 2010. 3 days later we’d find out that David Yost (Billy Cranston the original blue power ranger would experience homophobia while filming)
Now Billy is the most underrated of the original 6. Now if I had my own radio show, I’d want David and Walter Jones (Zach the original black ranger) to be my first guests. Now my buddy Alex is one of those rare finds because both of us got bullied by one of our siblings and Nelson actually watched me swim 72 laps in one go. Now the reason Katie is so important to me is because I can recommend everything under the sun and one thing I promised her is that when she comes to Seattle is homemade Mexican Food lessons with some complimentary Jelly Belly jelly beans!
Now with my friendship with Alex, he assured me that it’s ok to be the funniest guy in the room and also be one of the smartest. Both of us have divorced parents and he got bullied by a sibling. The difference is he met mine for about 2 minutes and within those 2 minutes, he could witness the abuse! So that’s more or less the reason I call him King Scrotum.
Now my mom and I have gotten into several arguments about Katie and rest assured she is not looking to sneak into the country. What she is looking for is a movie recommendation, an anime etc. Now even though I would have social anxiety at a convention. Now last year in September, I finally got my mom seeing Katie like she was a character from Dragon Ball Z. Possibly the biggest argument we ever got into besides Katie, was her friend Jessie!
Now Katie is very important to me because of being able to discuss things like Super Sentai and Kamen Rider freely because she knows what they are. Now my mom’s motto when it comes to my online community they don’t count but Jessie is a topic for another day. When it comes to what happened next, even Nelson chewed me out on!
Dinner for the Toilet Teletubby!
Now I had an ex girlfriend who actually flirted with Nelson and lied about it! Now for a while I wanted to remain single by choice and because I want to have someone who I can have a good conversation with about anything, they should get to know the real Sam for all my bells and whistles.
Dana Watts is a name that Nelson and I know all too well. Now I want to be perfectly clear, throughout this relationship I was blindsighted. Dana’s a registered soprano, Now I have approximately 300 subscribers on YouTube which isn’t bad for Standup Comedy and even though I’m not the most religious Jew, I do behave appropriate during holidays evn if I don’t always attend services. For example, I wouldn’t eat a Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger during Passover. I wouldn’t have sex during Yom Kippur! Things of that nature.
Now Dana is an idiot. Now I believe in reincarnation and Fuzzy’s loyalty, ability to agree with me on everything went into Nelson. Now even though Nelson and I survived Dana, for his graduation party we went to a joke shop, went to my Uncle’s and came home brothers. Although I’m not with Dana, she left a trail of breadcrumbs on YouTube and with less than 20 subscribers, the proof is in the pudding or in our cases, Music and Standup!
Here’s Dana’s
Don’t Leave Home – Dido
Now Dana is very sheltered and while my therapist isn’t Jewish, he thinks the now infamous quote by Dana, “Do Jewish people celebrate thanksgiving?” was said out of innocence. My buddy Jay thinks otherwise. Jay and I met when he was 9 and I was 13. At 16 and 12 and became besties that summer and although Jay is one year Dana’s senior, the antisemitism that Nelson and Dana received growing up manifested itself differently. Dana remains ignorant and Nelson knows that 6 million Jews didn’t disappear off the face of the earth just to go to burger king!
Here is my standup comedy from college
High School!
The 2 weddings that haven’t happened… YET!
Now I want to be perfectly clear, a Bar, Bat B’Nai Mitzvah is harder to study for than any middle school math midterm! It’s the best party in the world and although mine was 21 years ago, its date was my dad’s birthday and because Noah knows when my birthday was, the anniversary of my Bar Mitzvah was my dad’s birthday!
Now because of my standup comedy, I DO have a cult following on Facebook and on YouTube and there’s an interracial in South Carolina who demand my presence. The bride is white and the groom is Black! There have been 3 tasks asked of me. The bride’s father is dead, so I have to walk the bride down the aisle (she has cerebral palsy), perform my comedy and make fish tacos.
Now I plan to do the comedy and the fish tacos lake my Autism presentation in high school. Go above and beyond the call of duty. Now I was actually born in Seattle and at the time of this blog’s publishing, it’s going on 8 months since Nelson moved to Texas and yes, I am still grieving but also still standing! My brother and I might have our differences but over the years, Nelson’s proved he’s my actual brother and as for my actual brother, he’s just my parents other son who has a mind like a second grader!
So what other wedding?
Now my synagogue had a summer camp which is how I met my actual best friend who doesn’t want to be mentioned here on Sam’s thoughts but although I would meet Nelson and Alex during college! it feels like I have known them since the two of them and both Katies since we were in preschool! Now summer of 2016 Nelson joined me for my annual trip to my Uncle’s that started in 2008. Why that trip happened? Well all that you need to know is it pertains to a dark day of my life!
Now my Uncle is very important to me and while he sent over Bill Cosby monologues before I started 6th grade, I started writing my own material in high school. Now this March, I started seeing another member and I proposed on the way home from my Uncle’s and got a yes. Now my parents are very protective and more or less have given my brother everything he wanted!
Ability to bully his older brother and not get caught… Check!
Immunity from acting like a second grader and being able to get away with it? Check!
Loudest baby according to hospital records for Swedish hospital records in 1992? Uh… What do you think the answer is?
Now my Uncle is what I call a legacy Uncle. He has a great sense of humor and has always been there for me and while he’s eligible to volunteer for clubhouse, he’s my mom’s older brother and tried to remain neutral when my parents divorce first happened.
Let’s fast forward to February 2024
Now I want to make one thing perfectly clear, my uncle means a lot to me. In his prime once ate 36 slices of pizza in one go! Now my uncle means a lot to me and although Nelson’s move still hurts, what gets me out of bed is the plan I have made for February and knowing that Nelson wouldn’t miss my wedding for anything and what I told him is even though he lives in Texas, escape like a bat out of hell!
Now one thing I told myself no matter who I find, they can pick the cake but Rabbi Latz will lead the ceremony as long as we agree on the food, everything will work out. Now after my Bar Mitzvah, Rabbi Latz insisted I call him by his first name of Michael and Michael’s husband is named Michael but there’s nothing like calling out someone with your name during sex. It brings new meaning to the words, go fuck yourself! That was one of my jokes about sex.
Now I want to be perfectly clear, my younger brother has done all but call me the word retarded. Living with mental illness can be a struggle but because I have people bullying me but with my friends help, I was able to come into my own.
Now on February 3, my girlfriend and I are going to prepare a meatloaf dinner for my mom and say, look we are engaged. Now I told him, that I’d allow my bride to choose the cake. The food would be mutually decided and Rabbi Michael Adam Latz would lead the ceremony. Rabbi Latz was ordained in 2000, was with my synagogue. Now what won Nelson’s friendship over was how much I know about power rangers and it’s older brother show Super Sentai. Now I got into Super Sentai in 2009 as well as its older brother show, Kamen Rider! Now when I get married, Rabbi Latz is going to learn the story of how Nelson and I became brothers from other mothers as well as the love story of my girlfriend and I!
And now for a video with Rabbi Latz some self Q&A that dive deep into my mind!
Now according to you, the Autistic mind can remember things at the drop of a dime! What are some things that you can remember besides high school dances and being in the student newspaper?
We went to see both Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Return of the King as school field trips! J. R. R. Tolkien’s work is far more diverse than the wizarding world of Harry Potter. Now I wouldn’t kiss Emma Watson unless it was scripted but I do think Daniel Radcliffe while he does seem like a sweet guy, has a napoleon complex like you’d see on a pom. Now Tolkien is far my diverse, if Hogwarts actually existed, Noah and I have agreed that Lord of the Rings must be mandatory for any young witch or wizard! I also spoke on the 3rd anniversary of 9/11
Did you ever have detention in high school? No! My Spanish teacher had a zero tolerance policy for gum. Spit it out, hop in detention!
Were you ever called into the principal’s office? Once in 5th grade for another student stealing my computer and the other time was in 12th grade for leaving a paper for the all night senior night marathon at home and my mom had brought it in!
What did you do for your senior prank? I bought the prom king crown.
College
You talked about Nelson enough to make me think you like him romantically. I don’t! I was vice president and later president of the student mentors! Nelson became like family to me.
Was Nelson your original choice for best man? No, he wasn’t. Originally my choice was someone named Mike Ahlrep. When Alexandra’s death recently happened, Mike expected me to get over it as easily as scraping my knee while riding my bike! His comment of “People die, get over it!” was one of the key ingredients in which lead to our falling out. The straw that broke the camel’s back was whining while in his apartment!
Have Nelson and Alex witnessed your brother’s behavior? Yes!
Why are both Katies so important?
The one during my college days became my sister as she introduced me to my ex. This Katie thought all we have in common is food and having a disability in common but we don’t. Now Katie’s ex cheated on her but I didn’t know it at the time! I playfully punched him!
The other Katie is just a year older than me but I took over as a mentor to her and Nelson and for 12 years my mom acted like she didn’t exist. Now even though Katie’s all the way in another country, I have to keep in mind the language barrier. Katie didn’t necessarily become Fuzzy’s successor but would you be surprised to learn how much we have in common with each other?
Now even though English isn’t Katie in Russia’s native language we both make each other laugh and I was her “funny English teacher” there are certain things that I can do that Katie can’t. Katie’s anemic and ineligible to donate blood. Now just as Nelson’s my younger brother, Katie is my older sister by a year and if she witnessed what I am about to tell you, she’d be angry as I was!
Was I ever bullied in college? Two simple words… Hell Yes!
Now I don’t go to synagogue that often but I always make sure to practice appropriately. Now when I lost Fuzzy it took meeting Katie on social media to calm down. Her and the interracial couple in South Carolina! Now upon returning home, I felt like Sam the boy was left behind and Sam the man returned. I was still the same jokester and standup comic I was meant to be but what should have happened lead to a firing!
Now I’ve had eyesight trouble since infancy and I was told about being Autistic than Asperger Syndrome in 8th grade. Now what I’m about to tell you is pure bigotry! One thing my buddy Jay brought up is that bigot can only apply is if the person making the ableism or inappropriate comment is white!
Now I even faced discrimination with homework but the person who did all these things was the director and the following things she did are all true and even though I love sharing my college story, my ex was president of student council and I went to 10 conferences behind the director’s back!
The “He doesn’t like you!” scene in Star Wars more or less a summary of what happened. Upon returning home from Birthright, the director told me “All people with Autism and Asperger’s are the same!” Now to me that’s like saying all people with German and Polish heritage hate Jewish people naturally. Germany has publicly apologized for the events of World War 2 but Poland hasn’t. Now I want you to keep in mind the director has German ancestry! One of my closest friends with Autism has Polish ancestry and he doesn’t think I’m going to hell! In fact, he’ll keel over laughing every time my Yoda voice is brought up! This was only strike one!
Strike 2 – “Come to main campus or you’re fired from Student Mentors!”
Now I met Nelson when I was vice president of student mentors and later went onto serve as president, Now Nelson gave me the brotherhood I never got from my own brother and the advice I got from a Rabbi is “know that I have given him more love than his family!” and my therapist believes the reason behind Nelson’s family’s prejudice is they don’t actually love each other!
The director told me that I needed to be at main campus as we were going to discuss Rachel’s Challenge!
What the director told me is that if I don’t show up to the event, she’d fire me. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem but the problem was it was Rosh Hashannah, one of the two big ones! My mom said, just go anyway and I did! Even though I was furious. Now I get claustrophobic in a synagogue but attending services in my own way like going to the Y for a workout are my way of being close to our creator! Now I don’t get angry very often but the Autism comment, Rosh Hashannah and what’s about to happen will make someone who isn’t even Jewish be like. Ok you are dead where you stand!
Step 3 – Birth of the Forever Nazi and now it’s up to team Avatar to kick her ass!
Now I want to be clear my favorite comic book from Marvel are Deadpool and Spider-Man. Peter Parker was only about 16 when he was bitten by the Spider and Deadpool is just nuts. Now I think Nickelodeon’s magnum opus show is the Avatar franchise. This is because they didn’t need to rely on fart jokes and what happened next made me want to go into the avatar state!
Now Pizza and board game nights are one of my favorite socials at Bellevue Clubhouse and I inherited the Scrabble gene from my family. I have a love/hate relationship with Pizza and just Italian food in general. On one hand you find yourself full but a few hours later you’ll find yourself rushing to the bathroom! Now my Uncle, who is very important to me once ate 36 slices of Pizza in one go! My dad will only eat plain cheese.
Now just as I was about to graduate the director scheduled the Pizza dinner during the first night of Passover. Now my birthday may or may not align. My golden rule if it does, find a way to enjoy it. If it doesn’t, fast! Now I can make Matzoh Pizzas easily thanks to my cousin Steve but I also created my own Matzoh Nachos. Now my records in the kitchen are 20 plates of Spaghetti and Meatballs and 20 people for Chicken and Waffles.! Now I ran into the director 3 times after graduation and because of her prejudice, I wrote scripts calling her the Forever Nazi. I even had nightmares where she’d murder me in cold blood. She told everyone it was suicide! The happily ever after version is I got revived by Emma Watson and she thought I was cute. The darker version was that I was dead and the darker ending was my own brother playing Billie Eilish, dumping my valuables over a balcony and joining my director in the murder and someone who’s known me since the summer before 8th grade peeing on my grave and everyone having a party celebrate the fact that I am dead! Now just as it was Aang’s job to stop Firelord Ozai, I now call the director the Forever Nazi because of her German Heritage and ableist comments!
What my future goals are for the future of Bellevue Clubhouse?
Now look cooking is my hobby. Before coming to Bellevue I was a bus boy for a cooking school called Sizzleworks and although that job didn’t work out, I want to continue making lunch and getting more articles written. Cooking is a hobby and I want to learn as many new recipes as humanly possible! For each new recipe, I add some pins!
The Alexandra Olson Memorial Wall!
Now look, Alexandra Olson died an unknown but it was a suicide at 53. She went to the same high school as Robin Williams and while she did NOT have a fan base like Robin or Jason David Frank (Tommy from power rangers) Nelson and I were both broken hearted and it lead to a falling out with a friend of mine from college. The catalyst might have been breaking his Nintendo 64 controller but the nail in the coffin was whining while I was visiting!
There’s a flag pin collection in my collection that represent loved ones who I have lost who have died but when you lose someone to suicide, the general mentality I noticed is people often think, “Had I not said that to them last weekend, maybe they wouldn’t have killed themself!” or they often blamed themselves.
Now Alexandra was 12 and 7 years my dad’s and my mom’s junior but she believed me about the abuse from my brother, I was able to talk about Katie (In Russia) freely and she knew that Nelson was my actual brother. According to her my magnum opus was my fish tacos and the one thing requested before death was to go to the synagogue near my house! Now I get severely claustrophobic within the synagogue due to being bullied there. The positive side effect with all the bullying is I’m able to make comebacks!
Now Alexandra told me that my collections are not worthless and that cunt is a title that has to be earned! Now I don’t have a temper but my dad does! Now my parents assumed she was homeless but she wasn’t. When she died, I got support even from friends from high school regarding her death!
What is my greatest accomplishments after college and after covid died down?
Now Nelson doesn’t know I took Martial Arts in high school but one thing he was witness to was me swimming 72 laps! Swimming 72 laps took 2.5 hours which is the same amount of time as The Dark Knight. I woke up at 4 in the morning. Swam 72 laps, went back to my place at 8 and woke up at 1 in the afternoon 2016 is when Nelson and I became brothers because I took him to Archie McPhee and we went to my Uncle’s. The agreement we made when I graduated is no matter what happened, we’re the best man at the other’s wedding.
Now just like Joey in the Yugioh anime whose good luck charm is his Red Eyes Black Dragon, my good luck charm is my four horseshoes. My high school mascot was the mustang and our colors were green and gold and my greatest accomplishment 1 year after covid was finally beating my mom at Scrabble! Now although my parents raised me to be kind and honest, they’re very by the numbers people!
The two weddings that haven’t happened… Yet!
Now we have two weddings to talk about to wrap this up!
Now because of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and my standup comedy I was invited to a wedding in South Carolina! Now even though he died 13 years ago, my dog Fuzzy meant everything to me! 5 months later a man named Jerry Roland would die of Lung Cancer after hiding it from his family. He was only 56! Jerry’s daughter, Tammy and I would talk on Facebook starting summer 2010 and become as thick as thieves! I’ve been asked to do 3 things. Perform Standup Comedy, Walk the bride down the aisle and make fish tacos!
What other wedding?
We’ll get to that in a minute
So Ayanna and Ashlee let’s recap! San is an autistic male who’s 6′ 2″. His pronouns are he/him/his and got his start in standup comedy at the age of 16! Although he was told he was autistic in 8th grade. Spoke on the 3rd anniversary of 9/11 and wants to write a book called shattering the ice. When the debate of Books VS Movies comes about his motto is hell to you all, I like both!
Sam’s parents divorced right after high school and while they were able to remain friends with each other. What’s really scary is that people with Autism are the hardest to employ but Sam keeps trying to get his foot in the door! Sam has a younger brother by 3 years who’s verbally and emotionally abusive who acts like an 8 year old had a baby with Ash’s Charizard before it became obedient! That emotional and verbal abuse caused his brother to develop male pattern baldness thus earning him the moniker of King Scrotum.
In College Sam got a degree for people with disabilities but couldn’t be accommodated for his disabilities. He found his actual brother named Nelson whom he bonded over with what he calls Autism soft topics. Nelson and Sam had Phys ed together and Sam was his freshman mentor. The two of them bonded over movies, food and Nelson brought up the original power rangers from 1993 and Sam explained the origins of power rangers like it was sex ed!
He would Skype with someone in Russia named Katie who would become his best friend on August 22, 2010 and 3 days later the original blue power ranger would come out as gay! Upon graduating he’d run into the director 3 times who tried to take away his sense of humor and what he constantly say for rebuttal is drink your tylenol
What other wedding?
My wedding! Now look even though I’m on the spectrum I have the same desires as anyone else except I’ve had to fight tooth and nail. During College the director didn’t know I was on scholarship for the blind. Now I made an agreement with Nelson besides being best man for each of our weddings, Rabbi Michael Latz would lead my ceremony! He’d also learn how Nelson and I became brothers! (Despite his parents being antisemitic assholes and mine being a divorced Jewish couple from mid-atlantic states)
Now even though I’m out about being bisexual and pansexual, I use them interchangeably depending on the generation of which I am addressing, I didn’t get what I wanted from my immediate family!
Now I take value in my family as my grandpa had 5 sisters and all 6 of them are dead. One of them gave me Prisoner of Azkaban as an 8th grade birthday present and starting high school I got Goblet of Fire and if you’re wondering what my hogwarts house is, I’m Ravenclaw but my dog Fuzzy is a Slytherin. As an April Fool’s joke I would use polyjuice potion and pretend to be Austin St John because Nelson loves a good joke, a good meal and a good movie and coming out to him was the toughest of my friend group. In reality, I got the short end of the stick when it came to my immediate family!
If you haven’t seen heartstopper, I warned you there will be spoilers
Now Nick coming out to mum, was different than the reaction I got from my mom! She outed me to my Uncle Ralph and it was humiliating. She also thought it was Nelson but I don’t find him attractive, not because of the bro code but the person I met when I was in my senior year set the bar pretty high for men. Although he’s religious, he proved the religious are just like you and me!
Now I’m not allowed to mention this person by name, but he’s allowed me to talk about him as an example of same sex attraction. Although he comes from religion, I’m not going to hell for sexual orientation in fact in middle school, I thought Mr. Rogers was gay but he was actually bi. We had Horticulture, English and Political Science senior year before breaking for lunch! For our senior year final we had to manage a banzai tree of which I gave said tree to my mom as a mother’s day present!
Now with my mom, she put pressure on me to find out who it was! Now I got angry with her and rightfully so. Now I have one cousin who’s gender fluid and they don’t use their first name anymore. Now amongst my first cousins I’m 3rd of 8 grandchildren. On my dad’s side I’m the oldest of four siblings. When I told my dad, he shouted at me telling me that he didn’t care. If I was gay, i’d be bearding my girlfriend. Now even though I thought I was straight for years, I was pressured into having sex with my last girlfriend before covid and she tried to alienate me from friends!
My dad while well intentioned is a bit of a hypocrite. He’s from New York and if I swear it him, he loses it! Now I don’t get angry very often. Bisexuality is NOT a stepping stone to being gay. In fact my dad’s experienced homophobic comments by one of my mom’s friends!
What about your brother?
Now I want to make one thing perfectly clear, my brother was the tattletale as a little kid and when my parents divorce was recently fresh, he cut ties with my mom. Now I had to live with him for 8 months during college and both Nelson and my friend Alex had noticed abusive behavior. Now my brother is both verbally and emotionally. In 2018, my dad had to move to Arizona and due to his maturity my brother was upset. With my phone I get free Netflix, my dad lets me use his Paramount+ account and I mainly use it to watch Star Trek and next year I plan to watch the 2012 teenage mutant ninja turtles. Now I wouldn’t even tell my brother if I was bribed. My brother wouldn’t even care if I got the Nobel Prize, won a cooking competition etc! Now every bully has something they don’t like about themselves and my brother’s overweight. They also have an enabler. My brother’s enabler is my mom. Growing up, my parents let my brother get away Scott free. Now my friend Jay believes that karma got to him and that’s why he went bald early and because of all the emotional and verbal abuse and the fact I heard him say to someone on Skype, “I love my brother but I can’t stand him after 5 minutes” and a scar on my left hand as a result of a kitchen from Assault and Battery, he’s called King Scrotum!
Coming out to Nelson and both Katies
Nelson!
Now I want you to keep this in mind, Nelson’s a registered Republican with closed minded parents! Jason was his big time hero as a kid. Although I wouldn’t meet him until May 2012, Nelson and I have a brotherly bond. We are both aware that David Yost (Billy) was experiencing homophobia Nelson’s other friend, Ben was the other Jewish student. Even from the day I met him, I had 0 attraction to him!
Now another student was jealous of him and thought he “talked funny.” How did I tell him at the time that he’s Hispanic! Now I came out to myself 3 months into covid and Nelson thought it must have been a joke but I knew I had to because, I didn’t want anything to hold anything back. Now I DID see Nelson for his birthday and so far the only conflicts in our friendship as said before are my ex Dana and the covid vaccine.
Telling Nelson was basically the equivalent of pulling teeth. Eventually you have to tell your true brother. Now the way I use my Judaism for Nelson is through food and explaining the holidays by watching Keeping the Faith. When Nelson had Matzoh Ball Soup for the first time, you’d think he’d been eating it since he was 7!
Coming out to Katie from College!
Now Katie signed my journal, “Best friend forever!” we agreed that the director of my degree was a shmuck! Now Katie wasn’t born with her brain injury, she acquired it while smoking marijuana and was hit by a car. She told me that if she were born male, odds are she’d be gay. Now Katie has two older sisters named Jona and Lindsay. Her accident left her with slurred speech as you saw in the video so when she said “Jona”, I thought she said “Donna” although she set me up with my ex, Katie puts me in my place when needed, laughed at my jokes and was always there for me and for the other Katie I was always there for her!
Telling the Katie in Russia
Now despite me being one year her senior, I was Katie’s mentor and we discussed everything 8 ways to Sunday! I only met her online 6 months after my dog Fuzzy died! 3 days later David Yost would come out. Now my dad has anger problems and he also happens to be in his early 70s. He can also be assuaged if you provide reasonable evidence. So I did a power point and said, “Look the only 3 people I can talk about Japanese superheroes with Nelson, someone in Australia and Katie!” Dad got the picture and eventually was, “Ok I get the picture Now I understand.”
My mom is a lot harder to get along with and everything has to be black and white!
Now when they were married, my dad never taught her how to do power point. My mom while a kind sole is the first person to spoil the ending of Empire Strikes Back or Wrath of Khan! Although I taught her how to use power point, it was difficult because she’s very black and white and by the numbers when it comes to her thinking! That and she can be very impatient!
While if Katie were American she told me she’d be a registered Democrat and while she is Fuzzy’s successor in the friendship department, that friendship is not without controversy! Now all Katie wants at the end of the day is to talk about Food and Entertainment with her best friend, (Me!) but my mom would act like she’s smuggling into the country, so I had to show her a shortened version of David Yost’s interview from 2010!
Katie is one of my online friends I wanted to go out with but I obviously knew it wouldn’t work out. Although she got married in 2013, her husband’s a lucky man and she told me that she wouldn’t have married him without taking my feelings into account. Katie and someone from my Synagogue’s summer camp were the two people said to me more or less, nothing will change you! Now my mom is slowly easing to my online crowd.
Coming out to my mentor!
Now my mentor’s name is Wayne Daniels and I met him when my parents were recently divorced. He would spend a few minutes to talk to me as I was checking out library items. Wayne is also on the autism spectrum and he’s also transgender male. Wayne is originally from Tennessee.
Why is that figurine collection important as an adult?
Now If you haven’t read the Robert Langdon books by Dan Brown he uses them as a reminder to stay young. My figurine collection is one of the things I do to remind myself that I survived bullying from elementary school to college. Now I was challenged to have 10,000 of them by the time I’m a senior citizen!
What’s your plan after you get married?
Write a memoir and have it become a movie
What’s your biggest plans for 2024?
Well on Sam’s thoughts I have different History of… I did History of Digimon, Power Rangers and thanks to Rabbi Latz I cover The Simpsons season by season. Yugioh GX will be covered. I will also be making meals from my Avatar the Last Airbender cookbook and that’s just a little bit about me!
The following blog post is for a named Quinn who is new to Bellevue Clubhouse and although she has red hair and blue eyes. The following blog post talks about the do’s and don’ts I’ve l have dealt with. I’m an optimist and. This blog will talk about, I will reveal my parents by first name, it will also talk about things that pertain on social media. Since I’ve been a member, this blog will will contain spoilers, foul language, movie theories, coming out stories, my ideal candidates for my immediate family and pertaining to the LGBTQIA+ community. Because although I’m Jewish, I was still in the closet when I started the closet and even though I had a crush on a guy back in high school, my girlfriend and my best man know who it is! Since this blog also will reveal my brother’s first name. Although I’m retiring my fandom of Harry Potter by writing Harry Potter and the 7 years of Bullshit. Since this is Quinn’s first read, here’s the link to the blog post that I wrote 1 month into covid! Please read this blog as this is a spoiler filled for shows on Netflix, Hogwarts Houses, My Parents addressed by first name basis, my memoir and who my girlfriend and since this is Quinn’s first read. Before reading this, this Sam’s thoughts is also going to a former staff named Sarah M. Although Harry Potter is important to me, In High School I got into Tolkien: Here are some trivia for Quinn to know before continuing:
While closeted I served 20 plates of Spaghetti and Meatballs and Chicken and Waffles
I swam 72 laps with someone Named Nelson Amador Jr.
I’m 100% Russian Jewish on both sides
Quinn and I have D. C. Comics, Sushi and Mexican Food and Sushi.
Longtime staff such as Michael knows about the collections and since Michael and are both geeks here’s a Marvel Spoiler
This blog will contain foul language and if your name is Sarah M, although I have reputation as “Sam who never swears” Autism and Eyesight trouble are just labels but since we’re going to talk about YouTube as part of my bachelor party or before it happens, Michael Brown and Noah K. will get to see all my collectibles because even though Sarah M. is ex staff, I had no interest in her but I still remember what she looks like and this blog will be very spoiler heavy, promote my memoir Shattering the Ice. Since I want it to be both a book and a movie, the movie has to be R because my girlfriend and I watched Joker. I want to find a second volunteer job and someone named Jay may have found one and what my girlfriend Shirquita told me is Autism and Eyesight trouble those are your superpowers! Please read the following blog continuing
Although I came out as Bisexual 3 months into covid, I also identify as Pansexual and use them interchangeably. Even though I came out to my girlfriend, Shirquita. We started what we call a wait “until February list” and my parents and her mom are on that list. Because even though life after college is interesting. This blog will be social commentary on my immediate family because my girlfriend is cool with my cult following online! Since my Cousin Steven could play me, I could also play myself let’s start with my actual brother and you should know that this will talk about what I call “gay sex ed!”
Because I have a cult following online, my parents need to learn this will reveal my buddy Alex and bi-erasure. It will also contain spoilers into my fanfiction, my girlfriend challenged me to write. It’s called Harry Potter and the 7 years of Bullshit. Shirquita challenged me to sort Harry into Slytherin but since my mom allows Sam’s thoughts to be my safe space, this blog post will reveal things that actually happened and scenes I want to happen. Because I was a class clown type in high school, I went to what’s called the OLS program and because this will reveal my brother’s actual name, expect spoilers for movies. Since Morgan Ross uses the name MorganFlame and MovieFlame, I’ve already begun the drafting board since my girlfriend, Shirquita is ok with me being bi and we also have the wait until February list and since this is going to be sent to Nelson, I have a very important question for Mr. Morgan Ross, would you like to become a groomsman? If not I understand but if yes you should know that you and your wife will get to try Matzoh Ball Soup and my girlfriend is ok with having a Rabbi from Minnesota fly in! When Morgan and I team up, he gets to use my YouTube handle I started in High School called Yugioh257 but then use my actual name. 257 as there’s hidden meaning behind it, In 2002 I was Bar Mitzvahed, in 2005, I turned 16 and I graduated high school in 2007! Since I started Standup Comedy as a means to overcome social anxiety, I encourage Morgan to actually laugh have the censored version on his MovieFlame channel but on MorganFlame Sam and Morgan swear like Sailors because, I didn’t get the coming out I wanted from my immediate family because, Jay of Jewish Family Services likes my movie theories. Pixar’s Inside out is getting a sequel and since Inside Out didn’t have a bad guy, my theory is Inside out Part 2 is Riley might come out as a Lesbian! Starting with me, I’ll continue with why I nominate Nick Robinson
In College I was still in the closet, when I came out to my mom, she shouldn’t have outed me to my Uncle Ralph. Although my cousin Steven got lucky for his parents to accept him. Although my Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw, my girlfriend and I have started what we call a “wait until February” Since Nick Robinson get’s to play me the Kiss Scene is what brought me here but since this blog will reveal my brother’s name, this will also go into my Cousin Steven’s Facebook as I told him, he’ll get to be a bridesmaid and since I’m a Jewish comedian with a Black Girlfriend, I have to wait until the 2023 recap because I have a big announcement with my girlfriend although her name is Shirquita we’re going to have to talk about a good Slytherin, my late dog Fuzzy and during college I had to handle 5 stages of grief on top of homework!
My therapist good or bad attention some of my exes don’t give a shit! Since this blog is going to Sarah M, Nelson has moved to Texas and this blog talks about my anxiety and depression about his move, my ex says she’s happy but thanks to my background in Martial Arts, when she name dropped Katie, my first pen pal I had a crush on. I wanted to give her a black eye and a bloody nose. Since Sarah M. knows what happened this summer, I can’t talk about it here on Sam’s thoughts!
So why did I choose Nick Robinson to play me!
Although I came out to my dad, he shouted at me. Although the Kiss scene from Love, Simon brought him here, Nick Robinson gets to be the Jewish guy in the relationship!
My girlfriend’s name is Shirquita and the first question I asked her is does she prefer Black or African American. She chose the former. If I hadn’t met her, I wouldn’t have fully left the closet. Now Sexual Orientation isn’t defined by who you are but I got her Katara’s Water Tribe Necklace because even though I come from a dysfunctional family, in order to be successful, I have to put my brother in his place here on Sam’s thoughts and yes, Jay this is getting to you and because Morgan Ross AND his wife, Kara are invited. He’s going to learn about a few of my cult following online. Here’s a piece of trivia about Nick Robinson himself although Fuzzy died, I battled the 5 stages of grieving on top of college homework and because we’re going to talk about my actual brother and my ideal candidate is Jonah Hill!
Now I want to be perfectly clear, I’m not being a drama king when it comes to my brother. Although my brother is 3 years younger than me! Jay knows what he’s like behind closed doors, so do my college buddies Nelson and Alex when I started living on my own. My dog Fuzzy is a good Slytherin but behind closed doors, he makes Vicky the Babysitter from Fairly Odd Parents look like one of Mr. Roger’s puppets! Now my brother is a Slytherin Stereotype!
In elementary school he was the tattletale sibling and say things like “you’re adopted!”, when he was 8 I caught him Nazi goose stepping in Martha’s Vineyard and although he has tested positive for covid, he only has his older brother’s sympathy but if I were to die of covid, he’d only lose his punching bag. Right now I’m currently working on Chapter 6 of Harry Potter and the 7 years of Bullshit!
My brother’s Bar Mitzvah present was a purebred Black Labrador with the Hebrew word for Blessing! Since my girlfriend has two nephews, I want them to at least witness a Bar Mitzvah!
Although the Goldfish scene is what Jonah Hill does in the movie and. The movie has a timeline because my brother developed male pattern baldness and someone named Jay said it was karma for an assault and battery with a kitchen knife when he was starting 9th grade. When I told my mom about it, what she said for rebuttal was that I choked him in 3rd grade. Now even though my brother inherited my cousin Howard’s sailor mouth, but the difference is my Uncle is 73, I have an aunt who’s 101!
This is what Nelson laugh’s like if He WAS Jewish! and keep in mind he ee-eehee and although I want to conclude this blog with his Actual Laugh because I have it on Youtube! Because this blog started in Fall 2013
Now my brother’s actual name is Matt and there will be one scene that needs to happen because I’ve experienced bi-erasure and
When Nelson laughs I have it captured on Youtube!
Here’s Xolo Mariduena from Cobra Kai! Since Nelson’s Hispanic, his sister is someone I found attractive in college but I want to be with a partner who accepts that I don’t want children because Nelson’s laughter helps me whenever I have symptoms of Anxiety and Depression
Candidate Number 1:
Xolo Mariduena
Because of Autism my sexual orientation changes a lot after another member wanted sex, I came out as bi and even though I didn’t get the spark I wanted I realize that sexual orientation is just a label. When I came out Shirquita, my girlfriend she assured me that bi, pan, it doesn’t matter, you’re Sam! Even though I didn’t have a crush on someone in high school when Nelson gets excited you can see emojis!
When Miguel says “holy shit” that’s how excited Nelson acts when he enjoys something!
Here’s the other candidate
Spoilers for LGBTQIA+ Love, Victor
Although Michael Cimino looks more like Nelson, Nelson saw me as a role model. Although I was in the closet when it came to being bi, my parents supported my younger brother but as the older brother, I got angry with my mom and she found out who it was!
The following actors are my ideal casting choices for my parents but because this blog talks about the movie, Catherine O’Hara isn’t going to play my mom! My brother’s actual name is Matt and since this is going to people I met online, one of them has almost 2 million subscribers. As a Standup Comic we’re taught the rule of 3 and while my mom has to gingerly warm up to my online crowd, my girlfriend Shirquita and I met 3 years after I left the closet because these are professional actors and since this is my dream cast there would be a scene where Jonah Hill tries to torture Nick Robinson by playing Billie Eilish and throwing an action Figure Collection I started in 4th grade. Nick would have to fake Autism Overstimulation and the scene before I moved out, Jonah Hill would get to throw my collection off a Balcony and call Nick Robinson an Autistic Fucktard!
From here on out, I’m going to use my only reveal my brother’s first name just once because even though I’m the older brother, my younger brother acts like Buzz and Uncle Frank!
Although I’m not living with him, we’ll throw up some clips from Home Alone because although my brother’s in his 30s, his name is Matt and my girlfriend sent him a text but he’d cause drama at his older brother’s but before we show you my ideal casting choice for my parents, I’m only going to talk about the cannon books because, my girlfriend has challenged me to write Harry Potter fanfiction and my uncle got my start in comedy at a young age!
Because I had to live with my brother for 8 months, “Mommy” had to apologize for her younger son!
Here’s a theory about Buzz and I’m saying this as the oldest, despite being younger Kevin actually gets better grades in elementary school! My younger brother gave me a scar on my left hand and even though my dad is alive, my girlfriend’s father is dead! It takes a lot to get me mad but since I aren’t living together, my only rule is no children and now the scene from home alone that describes my brother because I had to live with his majesty in college!
Mature content
I don’t talk about my private life on Sam’s thoughts but my own brother has bullied me for being autistic, having eye trouble etc! Because I have a cult following and an abusive girlfriend. My current girlfriend, Shirquita and I agreed not to talk about the private life of Comedian and Chef Sam! Because I’m Jewish and a Standup Comic we’re going to be under the assumption that you’ve already watched the 8 Harry Potter movies and the 7 books because I have announcement for YouTube Star Morgan Ross! You and your wife Kara are invited to a wedding in Seattle and spoiler for the wedding that hasn’t happened, Morgan gets to be a groomsman and the only thing he needs to know that his buddy in Seattle has Matzoh Ball Soup and Kombucha on the menu. Because Morgan has read my blog a few posts, cooking gives me strength and so does writing a Sam’s thoughts but the reason why I don’t like dealing with my family so I’m going to reveal my mom on a first name basis just this once because, I started Sam’s thoughts as a closeted bisexual and I also use pansexual interchangeably but I got bullied by someone in my synagogue who’s gay! My girlfriend and I agreed no drama with the exception in Netflix, a movie and playing a video game. Me being a nerd is what won her over but because from here on out, I’m going to talk about my immediate family because Morgan has become family to me and although I was the oldest of two brothers. Autism, Eyesight trouble make me feel like I’m Uncle Iroh but since Avatar the last Iroh is children’s television, Zuko is clearly an autistic coded character.
I’m using Morgan Ross as an example because Morgan and I should now team up for one of his videos because my book hasn’t been published but the memoir is called Shattering the Ice and right now Sam’s thoughts talks about the pros and the cons of each parent but it talks about things after I came out as bi to my family. Because we’re going to talk about this way vs that way. This is because I’m a lover not a fighter 🙂 from here on out expect some foul language as I’m not a teenager!
Meet the Fockers and meet the parents are rated PG-13 and the theory about it is they used Focker for a substitute for Fucker! Now my girlfriend has two nephews via her sister, I’m only allowed to talk about my “nephew”. My mom’s actual first name is Minna (with the I pronounced like fish). My mom’s Hogwarts house is Hufflepuff and my choice to play her in a movie. My mom’s Hogwarts house is Hufflepuff
Like most great standup comics, I’m Jewish and my girlfriend is Black. Although my girlfriend is cool with me being bi, This isn’t a fuck you Puffs blog. Now I’m debonair but my mom is overprotective of me because my disabilities. Now even though we get along now, Autism allows me to remember things like last week. Since I came out to myself 3 months into covid, my parents are invited but my little brother thinks I’m a pariah! I wouldn’t make fun of my brother but Morgan should know that even though I’m 6 years older than him. My younger brother is banned because, he’s given me a hard time about everything under the summer sun and when my girlfriend and I watched Joker it made me realize she’s “The One”
My mom grew up with two brothers Ralph who lives in Israel, Aaron who is local and my mom has jealousy issues of her own! While in high school I met someone named Siena Cairns. Siena looked like she could be the biological daughter of a lesbian couple of Jennifer Garner and Amy Jo Johnson! Now I live by my old high school but I don’t think about it.
While closeted my mom got me a dog named Fuzzy and if Kevin Conroy was still alive he’d get to be way out of character! Now as a comedian you’re taught the rule of 3, Although I had to admit to my own mother who the same sex attraction was in high school, I beat her in scrabble 4 times!
Although I inherited the talking gene, I would never spoil something like a video game or a movie unless asked. One of my predictions from college was actually true. In college, I predicted Jason David Frank from power rangers would kill himself.
When it comes to my online crowd my mom’s slowly getting used to my online crowd! If they’re domestic my mom’s ok with it but it took her until my 12th birthday to watch the Simpsons and I had a crush on one of my online crowd!
When I came out to my mom, It was after being pressured into sex!
When Quinn reads there’s always the parent that doesn’t quite understand why!
I wanted to be a comedian at a young age but my brother had fights as children but I can always be a role model and I believe in myself!
Good Night Mr. Black here’s the actor version of my dad!
My dad grew up in New York but my theory about my own father is because he’s from New York most people are Jewish or Italian. His favorite food is Pizza and loves a slice of pizza and he’s from New York!
If he were younger he’d probably proud of all the things I’ve accomplished. Coming out as bi was tough as he has two sisters but one magic number is 72 and now without further ado… the magic number 72 reveal I bi stereotype from Sex and the City because this is the friend that became I experienced bi on bi behavior. Even though I haven’t had a boyfriend, I didn’t get lucky with my family but the best man for the wedding was born on August 28th and August 25th is Tim Burton’s birthday now even though his dad lost his temper. Thanks to coming out as bi/pan I use them interchangeably because coming out to someone with antisemitic and homophobic parents is tough! We’ll reveal my groomsman, and my best man by first name and their pronouns because I didn’t get the coming out I wanted from my parents but because Washington State, I would never out someone online but my girlfriend’s ok with the whole, “bisexual bipolar blind autistic boyfriend who got belittled by his younger brother!”
My mom’s 39th birthday present to my dad was me. My brother’s due date was valentine’s day but the reason I wouldn’t invite him to a wedding is because even though both of us have disabilities, my golden rules are never say the word “retarded” or tell me “go polish your horns”
My dad’s Achilles heel is anger and even though I found the person I want to grow old with, before becoming a member of Bellevue Clubhouse and getting outed to, I still want to do standup comedy but so far in my 34 years on this planet, I didn’t inherit my dad’s temper but I’m a very creative person as my dad has two sisters.
If my parents were the generation that grew up with computers, my mom would be the parent that spoiled the ending of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Green With Evil mini series to someone who didn’t watch it or hasn’t watched the episodes yet. Although both my brother and I don’t get along he got her into Avatar the Last Air Bender and Legend of Korra.
Now I’ve always looked up to my Uncle Aaron and this is a posthumous blog most people either know the name Jason David Frank as Tommy from power rangers. Now I’ve been bullied for being autistic, Jewish and LGBTQIA+ My girlfriend Shirquita and I have successfully had the “I’m not straight” talk. Because this blog started in college people have never heard of Pansexuality but I told myself when I realized I wasn’t straight, Bisexuality is for people online and the older generations. Pansexuality/Bisexuality is for people who see my YouTube.
Although I faced sexual harassment from my own brother for not having sex Karma got to my younger brother and now he looks like a politician. If my actually gave a fuck about his older brother he would say:
“My older brother invented Black Friday Mexican food!”
Now it takes a lot to get me to swear and I believe the more someone swears it shows the people around you that you don’t know anything else. Although my Cousin Howard is 76, he’s a retired lawyer from Queens and although he swears like a sailor, Morgan is going to learn about two people here in Seattle that I’m friends with because I felt interrogated by the police after I came out to my mom but my dad was like Janice from Friends (RIP Matthew Perry)
Even though I’m not in college, I was romantically involved with an identical twin and a mirror twin with bipolar disorder and even though there’s a 3 year age gap, one of my goals that Quinn will help me with next year is next year we’ll start serving Avatar the Last Air Bender Meals at Bellevue Clubhouse! Even though my brother and I don’t get along, my mom had to apologize for having me take him, although I forgive her, my mom and I have stubborn streaks but since my parents need to be involved and standup comedy helped me overcome social anxiety! Even though Fuzzy died, I think the reason he was protective of me is due to post traumatic stress!
Since this is Quinn’s first read and she witnessed my memory in action and I’m open about my 4th grade figurine collection, whenever I talk about it with Michael, he acts like he wants an autograph!
Because we’re going to talk about my college days, the person who introduce me to my I consider my sister because although I have to deal with my ex, there’s a 5 year age gap and now that we’re out of college, both of us hated the director and she’ll get to try Matzoh Ball Soup and her nickname from me is “College Katie.”
Now I came out at the start of Covid-19 as bi but Katie was one of the easier ones to tell because although she has a brain injury, when I told her that I was bullied by my own brother, for rebutal was, “your brother’s a punk!” Even though I’m out about my sexuality now. Katie and I met when Fuzzy was alive but because of her accident, she can’t remember things very well. When I told her I’d want Natalie Portman to play her, she thought it was funny and it’s the truth.
Now since this blog is going to Katie’s facebook, I have news for her. She’s invited to my own wedding but I’m going to include my online crowd. We bonded over hatred of the director, the 1960’s and we both love the
She’ll get to try Matzoh Ball Soup. For me that’s comfort food but the dish that won my girlfriend over was Chili!
The following two people who met me while studying during Bellevue!
Alex he/him/his
Now my golden rule when it talks about College, I was the Jewish students earning the OLS degree! OLS is now on main campus and where I volunteer, I had to give a phone call to my ex girlfriend’s sister telling her that we could possibly friends once I am married.
Now I won’t reveal Alex’s birthday but here are 3 of my favorite movies made by someone who shares his birthday and because I had to live in Bothell with my actual brother, Alex has had Chili Dogs and an Israeli Burrito!
Now I got to Israel twice in my life. On the former trip it was after high school graduation and my 18th birthday was spent getting sushi but since Quinn wants to begin having Avatar meals together, I made a pact with them! We’re going to start in the earth kingdom, If I was the Avatar, I’d give you the rundown!
My starting nation is the Water Tribe would be my starting nation would because I’m from the pacific northwest. Fire bending would be my next nation because I love spicy food but not a lot of volunteers don’t like spicy food! Now one thing I hang onto is my collection I started but since I started this blog in college, I got faced Jewish on Jewish bullying, I’d visit the air nation next. Even though I’m not a vegetarian or vegan, Seattle is the holy grail for Asian Cuisine, San Diego is known for Mexican Food and I mentored someone in college and what made us brothers is both of our families don’t understand why we are brothers!
Was there a mix-up in 1992?
Even though my parents divorced after I got out of high school, there’s someone who became my brother and since he helped me recover from a suicide. We made a deal after living with my brother! His name is Nelson Amador Jr. Because Bellevue Clubhouse is a Mental Health Facility! We made an agreement. Best man at the other’s wedding!
When we would message each other during college he revealed that he was a fan of power rangers!
Now Nelson’s parents are antisemites! We met in May 2012. Michael Clarke Duncan (John Coffey from the green mile) was recently deceased!
Nelson sat by my Uncle when I graduated college. Although I’m still writing this post under the 5 stages of basic grief, Nelson’s Hispanic but when he’s around me, he’s unofficially Jewish!
So what do I mean by this? One of Nelson’s interests is the 70s, I have a disco ball in my apartment. My dream vacation is Japan
Sam, where do power rangers come from?
Although Nelson’s not really interested in Anime. He learned about Japanese Superheroes!
On April 3, 1971 we had Kamen (Caw-men) Masked Rider and April 5, 1975 we got Super Sentai! The latter we know as power rangers! Had Nelson met me in elementary school my answer to the proverbial answer would be Tommy and Nelson’s is Jason the original red ranger! These days my favorite is Adam! Now I met someone named Allie and even though I don’t watch it much anymore, I got bullied by an alumni over a suicide!
Warning! Although I retired my fandom I’m going to talk about his family’s view but because we’ve been friends through college. Nelson has met two of my online friends and Allie looks like a hobbit the latter is ok with me calling her that!
Although it’s common knowledge that the blue power ranger is Gay, both Nelson and I agree that it wasn’t appropriate. Nelson’s parents act like I should have died in the holocaust and even though I have my own younger brother, when I had to live with him in college and it took a toll on my mental health and even effected my college homework!
Before he moved to Texas he’s tried my cooking more times than I can count but we made an agreement! Best man at the other’s wedding!
Now to be blunt, although my mom apologized for having me live with him, It was my decision but this clip from Deadpool 1 makes me feel better about toxic relationships, I’ve had even during college!
Although I started my standup comedy in high school, it was my earliest autistic interest besides history and power rangers, so I told him about Super Sentai and Kamen Rider?
Tengo un Pregunta Senor Sam? What’s Kamen Rider!
Is Super Sentai the same thing as Power Rangers?
Super Sentai began in Japan on April 5, 1975! Power Rangers used stock footage and began in the 1990s! Now here’s the thing about being Jewish, we have things like Bar/Bat/They Mitzvahs! My best friend died before I turned 21 and his name was Fuzzy! Fuzzy might have died during college but he was a Pomeranian Chihuahua mix. 6 months later, Quinn saw the picture of my pen pal.
Anime is something I still hold onto from Elementary school. Although I live independently, Nelson’s family has a history of Antisemitism and we swam 72 laps together! That’s how we became brothers!
Now I’m not the most religious Jewish person out there but longevity and height run in my family. Although it’s common knowledge that I have Autism and Eyesight trouble, I choose to not smoke. Smoking lead to early childhood Asthma that disappeared during puberty!
The Harassment from College!
Now even though I graduated college in 2014, I didn’t like who was in charge of the associate’s! Although in high school I was popular and had a B grade point average, I was a jokester because my comedy career took off at the age of 16! My younger brother is put on a silver platter by our mom!
The chaperones in during my birthright tour told me that everyone has survived something. Now my friend Nelson admires my knowledge of pop culture and we agreed no political discussions!
2016 and 2017
Now look everyone has a 2016 story but I swam 72 laps when Nelson was in state and even though he’s not in state, he’s the only one who gave a rats ass when we loss someone to suicide!
The Day Batman died!
Now my parents were always honest with me and even though people pass away, Kevin’s cause of death was intestine cancer at 66! Now even though he’s dead, people have mixed reaction to him being Gay! Now when I first that he was Gay, in the back of my head I didn’t know because I just watched him on TV growing up but my synagogue had what’s called a Cantor!
A Cantor is someone who will lead the Jewish hymns during important holidays. Now I was bullied at my synagogue’s summer camp but my parents are in their getting up their stages! There are few people in pop culture I grieve when they die, If I could revive Kevin for 24 hours, I’d give him a hug and even though I’m a batman fan, I know that no one more than anyone misses his him more than his husband!
Now I’m very tall so you could spot me in a crowd and my cousin is 6′ 5″. Although he’s the tallest of my second cousins, I only have one younger brother and it really makes me angry how even though I hear a lot of things like, “Sam he can’t be that bad.” He’s in his 30s but he treats me like I belong in diapers!
Now after I swam 72 laps, I knew I wanted to get married. Nelson would be my best man. I would share my brotherhood story from an openly gay Rabbi from Minnesota. Although I had no attraction to him as a same sex attraction, what made me decide to be my best man is the way that he laughs!
The following is one of Rabbi Latz’s sermons about being Gay and it shows his sense of humor!
Now I’ve been out about being bi 3 months into the pandemic! I didn’t do it for the attention. Although I told my family, I didn’t get the reaction I wanted but my dad faced homophobia from one of my mom’s closest friends at the time!
I spent 13 years to suppress what I call “the gay side!” and if you just know one person with on the spectrum you just know that one person. Although I still want to be a standup comedian, my parents have their stereotypes about me!
Even though Bellevue Clubhouse has become a double edged sword, I didn’t learn to cook until 25! One thing I would say in my comedy is that all people on the Autism Spectrum are born on Uranus! The odds of ADHD are 25% of the entire population of earth. Such examples include my dad and my younger brother.
Now clubhouse has become a double edged sword and come back to bite me in the tuchus (if you’re not Jewish, Tuchus is a word that means Ass). In Elementary School through college I got bullied! I heard things like Sam has cancer because of how my surname is spelled!
I’m still in touch with someone who’s known me since 8th grade (she/her) here are a few of my favorite things from 2003 besides the friendship and her birthday parties!
Finding Nemo is the first Pixar movie to feature a character with a disability. Nemo’s right fin is smaller than his left one! Marlin clearly has Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Although this is a movie, The Animation still holds up!
Now the only hobby that I still hold onto is my 4th grade figurine collection. Since this is Quinn’s introductory blog to me, we agreed to start in the Earth Kingdom for the recipes. I hope they enjoy this read!
Do Jewish people celebrate Thanksgiving?
The first time I heard this was in 2021! What most people don’t know about Thanksgiving is the president who started it!
Now I love to cook and I know two people who were born on Lincoln’s birthday! Now my greatest creation as a chef is Black Friday Mexican food. If it isn’t thanksgiving use ground turkey, pepper garlic powder or crushed garlic and season it in a skillet to make tacos! Combine it with Almonds and Cranberries and add some orange juice. If you’re going to make Enchiladas, spread mole sauce and sprinkle shredded cheese. I like it spicy! If you’re going to make taco salad, add the normal taco salad fixings. For Burritos, Normally it takes 300 degrees for 20 minutes!
Why is it called Black Friday Mexican Food?
Now my grandfather on my mom’s side had 5 sisters. the closest thing I had to grandfathers were my Spanish Teacher who died during the early days of Covid. My mom’s dad died in December 1975. The other closest thing I had to a grandfather was Mr. Miyagi of the Karate Kid movies played by Pat Morita
Now I took Martial Arts in High School. One thing I point out to people is if it weren’t for movie magic, Daniel would be dead or have a brain injury. Now Ralph Macchio is in his 60s. My brother Jay and I call him things like “the toddler man” and here’s a fun fact about me is that my dad grew up 20 minutes away from him.
Now one of my best friends who’s also on the Autism Spectrum, I have known since May 2012 and that’s Nelson Amador Jr.
Now my first college buddy was Katie, a woman who has a post traumatic brain injury. Her accident left her with a speech impediment and she doesn’t remember seeing my action figure collection. Nelson’s lust for life and the way he laughs are the reason I made the pact of no matter what happens, the other person is the other’s best man!
Nelson had to move to Texas back in April and even though I saw him once after the pandemic we would text along. Although he’s Hispanic, he has a Jewish spirit! Although his parents made it clear they don’t like me, it’s THEIR loss!
Upon finding my own apartment I have 4 big collections!
Cookbooks (The Unofficial one)
Action Figures I started in 4th grade
Pins
Movies
Nelson is well aware of a suicide that happened in 2016 and when we went to my Uncle’s House we also went to Archie McPhee, (A local joke shop) and he became family! Even though we watched The Karate Kid trilogy and had liver and onions and Fish and Chips respectively and his favorite show we watched together was Avatar the Last Air Bender! You can’t control who your family members are but I’m thankful for all the texts I’ve received due to his move!
The following blog post is for Quinn of Bellevue Clubhouse to get to know Sam not as a volunteer but as a man! Warning
Although this is a blog I started long before covid, my father is from New York, Sam’s thoughts I started as a hobby!
The following isn’t a memoir but since I made an agreement with Quinn, first and foremost I’m on the Autism Spectrum but Quinn knows that I’m a nice guy and I have a really good sense of humor but if I make a promise to someone, come hell or high water, I will keep it!
#thankyouEltonJohn
During my college days, I have received abuse by someone else who’s on the Autism Spectrum and I lost someone to suicide and it really hurt my feelings! When the death first happened I originally wanted him to be by my best man! So I took solace in my synagogue and although we aren’t friends anymore and I happen to be allergic to cats!
Although Quinn knows I’ve been to Israel, I just tell myself, if I ever think about what he was like when we were friends, think forewords and don’t dwell on the past. Listen to the following two songs!
Although I graduated college before Covid, I made a deal with someone who’s going to be my best man!
Even though I live alone, I am no longer afraid of my own shadow! Since Quinn’s pronouns are she/they. I’m going to share something funny in my personal life!
When I first heard this song I thought the lyrics were “the bright blessed day and the dogs say good night!”
Holy Shit it’s the power rangers!
Now I really enjoy volunteering at Bellevue Clubhouse because Standup Comedy helped me overcome social anxiety. Now I learned to cook while in my last year of college and I had an abusive ex, I even faced prejudice from my college buddy’s family. So one of the dishes that Quinn will try for her birthday is Black Friday Mexican Food!
Black Friday Mexican food is my original creation because it’s Mexican Food that you can have traditional thanksgiving flare and add almonds and cranberries. I make Enchiladas with mole. If you don’t have it on thanksgiving you can season ground turkey with almonds, dried cranberries, garlic powder, pepper and orange juice! The last thing will make your turkey cook faster!
The agreement I made with Quinn is that we will use my Avatar cookbook starting with the Earth Kingdom and I introduced my brother to Avatar the Last Airbender after he graduated college. Now my actual brother is very toxic and the only person who believes me who is old enough to be an aunt killed herself before I started volunteering!
Now my brother is aware that I’m autistic and am legally blind! Growing up my mom doesn’t believe me but I caught him Nazi Goose Stepping when he was 8 and things like “you’re adopted!” or “that’s what she said” I have a scar on my left hand before he started Freshman year. Although my mom still puts him on a pedestal but he beat my mom at scrabble first but although there’s a 3 year age gap, in college I met Nelson Amador Jr. Now I didn’t get any help from my family extended or otherwise but before he moved to Texas, he tried Matzoh Ball soup although I got to see him for his birthday, neither sets of parents understood why we we’re friends!
Now I happen to be Nelson’s best friend and I met him when I was 23 and even though we met in May 2012 what makes me angry is that even though he’s not gay, he’s facing homophobia! When we first became friends Michael Clarke Duncan was recently deceased. Now one thing I told my mom was, “Mom if Nelson was Antisemitic, do you really think I’d be friends with him?”
Now one thing that Michael Brown knows is that I have a giant figure collection in my apartment that I started in 4th grade but although he hasn’t seen it yet! I was challenged by Keenan of our Everett Chapter has challenged me to have 10,000 figurines by the time I reach my senior citizen years. Although I’m 34, I was one of the bisexuals out there who didn’t have a reasonable coming out to family!
My mom actually told my Uncle Ralph and he has four sons and the youngest is openly gay! When she outed me it really hurt, my dad told me he didn’t care!
I actually remember learning about AIDS in middle school. What they told us back then is that you can’t get it from hugs, holding and shaking hands and though age is just a number, I have a difficult brother!
Now one thing I don’t like is names that start with M! Now my actual brother’s name I don’t like revealing on Sam’s thoughts unless he’s being put in his place. Now you can’t choose who things like early onset male pattern baldness. Now even though I can’t stand my brother.
Now I believe in Karma and his bullying doesn’t hurt as much as it used to but he got pampered as much as any Disney princess but at the end of the day, I forgave my mom for having me live with him even though we’re not living together anymore but when we were he would make fun of me behind my back. So although he acts like he’s king of the immediate household and because of his head games I just call him lord scrotum!
Sam's Thoughts 