Warning! This blog contains foul language that is used with the intent to educate and not offend. Viewer discretion is advised.
When I was transitioning from Middle School to High School, I had a very influential Camp Counselor. His name was Abel Charrow. As a comedian, I know how to handle people and instead of saying that I have “disabilities” I like to say I have “Internal Struggles” Abel had the best laugh. Although I wasn’t assigned to him, he gave me a lot of wisdom because I acted older and I helped him out too. In fact, once he reads what I have to say about him, he’d probably want to give me a high five or a hug and say I was a mensch.
Abel was in charge of the 4th/5th graders but during the Jewish Summer Camp Olympics or Macabiah Games, he was assigned to my group. Plus we did theater together and I played his father. As you guys know who read my blog religiously, I have Asperger’s now just Autism Spectrum Disorder. I’m very highly functioning, I’m also legally blind and at 18 I was diagnosed with a mental illness and my parents filed for a divorce. Although I wasn’t 10, I took his no profanity rule to heart.
Abel and my friendship became more of a brotherhood. Because of this I have a 3 level tiers of swearing rule. Before we get started, I want you to know about what’s known as micro aggressions. I learned about micro aggressions in college, Abel will learn about them through this blog and since I’m an autistic savant, Abel would be proud of me for not only handling fascism in college and still having that Sam Kanter sense of humor. A mutual party put it best, we weren’t friends, we were brothers. Micro Aggressions are statements that might be hurtful. I will give 3 examples of Micro aggressions and talk about non-verbal communication . The examples I’m going to give are “that’s for babies”, “duh” and “shut up.”
3 Pixar Movies that I love are Finding Nemo, Inside Out and Coco. The first one I like because my dad lives out of state with his long time girlfriend. Finding Nemo helps me not miss my dad as much. When I was a teenager, my dad set up a website I could access for my homework and I was a little ungrateful and I said, “Dad what am I? You’re guinea pig.” he’d tell me I wasn’t but when I was about 15 I predicted that my parents would get a divorce and then after I graduated high school, they did. Finding Nemo helps me cope with all the bullying and harassment I received all throughout my life and since Abel will read this he should know that when I was in middle school secret handshakes were all the rage and when I was in college I discovered Tokusatsu and developed a college level secret handshake I can teach to friends that are family and vice versa but I digress.
Inside Out is also a very powerful moving Pixar movie. If Mr. Rogers was still alive, he’d probably consider this one of his if not the best Pixar Movie. Since I have a gifted memory, I used to hold grudges and had trouble letting sleeping dogs lie. On the 3rd anniversary of 9/11 I gave a mini-sermon about how we should all come together. That made me really happy. If time travel were possible, I’d warn my younger self that the person who invited me was going to ambush me due to teen drama I would have been better prepared. A mutual friend was caught in the crossfire and he gave me a look of sympathy and compassion because I wasn’t invited to a party that the person who asked me out to speak just glared at me. While I have moved on with my life dear readers, she hasn’t apologized.
Ah Coco, Pixar’s game changer. Without it, the latino/Hispanic community would be resorted to playing Gangsters and comic relief. Coco helps me cope with two deaths and I’m actually writing a skit for my comedy/cooking/talk show and Hector interviews a loved one from my family who passed away at 90. The other death you learned about in my first unsung heroes blog, Alexandra Olson was a suicide at 53. With modern science being what is 53 is nothing and I got shamed for her death by one of my friends from college.
“That’s for babies”
Here’s how you shouldn’t respond
Instead: One Person’s trash is another person’s treasure. My friends Tony, Nelson and I are what I call retired “Retired Power Rangers fans”. Tony went onto become a musician with a great workout regimen. Nelson and I met in college and since Abel is going to learn about my struggles in getting my college associate’s which was a 90 credit degree if you have internal struggles and not only did I get the degree I went to 10 leadership conferences, I’ve donated blood 26 times and unfortunately I found out the vice-dean of student programs was a registered sex offender and what I did to control myself is I realized that although I was trained under a sexual groomer, he was an abusive leader but you’ll learn more about the root of the problem later.
Let’s say you and your spouse want a divorce and divorce isn’t easy, as mentioned earlier, my parents got one. Here’s how you shouldn’t respond:
The Wolf of Wall Street might be a really good dark comedy by the talented Martin Scorcesse who’s one of my heroes for directing and while I might not be in show business, I have to live with my internal struggles every day of my life and instead of being the victim of a traumatic experience like my ex girlfriend, I choose to stand tall and say I can do this and that’s why I do comedy, write, advocate for myself and even if you’ve never met me in person, I’d laugh with you and not at you and when a falling out with a college buddy happened, it was my decision because when I was at his apartment he was being very childish. Here’s a fun piece of trivia, before I tell you what you might want to do, the cocaine they snorted in Wolf of wall street was crushed B12 Vitamins. You might say by snorting in this movie you got a little smarter
Here’s what you should consider
The imagery might have come of legend of Korra and the 4 elements speech come from Avatar the last air bender but Uncle Iroh’s wisdom rings true in our world. There might not be benders and non-benders but there are people out there who can’t see past their own shadow. Being patient with others is tough, I had to walk away from an 8 year friendship last February because I was shamed for a suicide and the friend was giving me an “I want my mommy.” vibe when our falling out happened
“Shut up” or “, get over it!”
Let’s say you lost a loved one and you contact a friend about the death. This next clip is from an anime called death note:
Here’s what you should do: I wasn’t able to attend my grand-aunt’s funeral and I also lost one of my best friends to suicide. She was 53 and we had a maternal bond that was strong. Both of us were older soul types and both of us were Jewish and her prayers when she was staying with me were, “Dear g-d, why couldn’t I have been born in 1992 as opposed to 1962?” Her name was Alexandra Olson. Not a lot of people helped me mourn who actually know me in person. Nelson Amador who we’ll talk about more once we get to my college years. Sure my parents did, Nelson did but I had to make an important sacrifice and in last February I had to cut ties with a college friend who threw a tantrum while I was at his apartment.
As for my grand aunt, she was 90. We all have to sign Mr. Grim’s inevitable contract and my grand-aunt is survived from the baby boomer generation by mom and my grand aunt’s sons Phil, Jay and Donna. As for how I handled my grand aunt’s death, I wrote in the guestbook online, I want to write a Coco short where Hector interviews my grand-aunt about her life and since I’m not Latino/Hispanic, I can’t play Hector and I don’t believe in whitewashing. I also got closers to my cousins Julie who is a grand-niece and Steve who was the Grandson. Here’s a song by Queen to add some zig to the zag before we talk about the tiers of swearing: (Normally I just use this as my catchphrase for cooking but it applies to here as well)
Level 1 swear words
Even though Abel taught his campers that swearing was off limits, I abided by this rule religiously and still try to. I was entering high school so he was a little more lenient with me. These are the words albeit not appropriate but a child 10 and under is likely to hear anyway when there first learning to swear:
- “Aww Crap”
- What the hell?
- Oh my g-d.
- Go to hell
- Kiss my ass
- Oh for the love of g-d
- Damn you all!
If you’ve seen the Netflix show A series of Unfortunate Events or read the books, there is profanity in them but it’s used in child appropriate levels. In the synagogue I went to growing up, the more your parents were involved, the higher your status was at the summer camp and there was a synagogue bully whose name I’m omitting for his privacy but his mother was heavily involved with the temple’s choir. The only person who caught his hand in the cookie jar so to speak was Abel. Here’s a mystery of time of which I might have an answer to. I have known the synagogue’s bully since 3rd grade and he was the bully who was, “I know more than you do.” kind of bully.
Level 2 swear words
Level 2 swear words are more found in abusive families and dysfunctional families that don’t have love and should be used in PG-13 movies that can get away with a little more
- You Bastard (except when used correctly)
- Bitch (except when applied to female dogs)
- Up yours
- Go to hell
The friend I had a falling out with had used derpy or derp one too many times. Duh is like a clean version if you want to call it that. I do swear if startled or upset and if I was given money every time I was thrown under the bus (figuratively) in college I’d have my childhood dream come true.
Level 3 – swear words
These are the swear words that will land a movie a rated R or an M for Mature content in a video game during cut scenes. As I advised earlier use discretion when reading this blog because these are the big guns and if you say them to the wrong person you might get expelled from school, lose your job and it might promote violence amongst family members. My cousin Howard, whom I love uses these religiously and if Abel met him he’d probably laugh, blush from embarrassment and say, “Uhhh Sam? Are you sure he’s related to you?” I would turn to Abel and say, “Actually Abel, if you want to know the truth, he’s the bastard child between Yoda and Deadpool.” I try to avoid these words at all costs but if one escapes my mouth you know you’ve really made me angry and I’m only using the words that would apply to being me
- Aspie or Autie (My name is Sam)
- Fuck (or any variant thereof)
- Retard (or variants thereof)
- Racial pejoratives even if I’m white
- A C word that was used in Wolf of Wall Street that rhymes with Blunt
- Words that put down the LGBT community (One of these is the that broke the camel’s back for David Yost)
Before we talk about college, enjoy this clip from Deadpool 1 that sums up how I felt about college in a nutshell…
Sam in college
Obviously I wasn’t a mercenary for hire dying of cancer but I went to the OLS program at Bellevue College. It was a 90 credit degree and I attended 10 leadership conferences. I wasn’t Ryan Reynolds but the cronies he beat up. In my 2nd quarter, my dog Fuzzy, a Pomeranian chihuahua mix passed away. I did have some help with some people. Chihuahuas are amazing dogs aside from the whole Napoleonic complex they have they also have a huge heart and the vet told us he had some Pomeranian in him. My mom and I had him for 11 months and on February 11, 2010, just as I was getting interested in tokusatsu, Fuzzy died of an unrecoverable seizure. Do I miss my pup? Yes Am I able to move on? Yes. When people die don’t tell them, “Get over it!” you should tell them, “they will always exist in your heart.”
The person who ran my degree is getting her name omitted for first amendment purposes only and even though she’s the one who did the damage, I can forgive her since she moved away and I’m willing to let sleeping dogs lie because I was in college but the pain I went through is real. My first friend I met in my freshman year and she’s as funny as me and her personality is a lot like Toph Beifong in avatar the last airbender but instead of Toph Being blind my friend has a brain injury. Knowing my friend she’d refuse to watch it since she thinks it looks like anime and even though I love anime one person’s trash is another’s treasure.
On Valentine’s day Fuzzy was 3 days 6 feet under and he showed me a flag of Israel, a picture of a friend whom I met on my birthright tour and showed me the Gokai Silver helmet.
In May 2010, Saban bought the rights back to Power Rangers and even though I don’t watch the show, I don’t think that’s the omen Fuzzy was showing me in the dream. I told Tony because both of us were excited but I haven’t seen any season because like I said, I’m retired from the fandom but if you guys are nice to me and comment respectfully I’ll review things besides super sentai and kamen rider. Although I’m 29, I try to keep my inner 13 year old alive too but he’s on the backburner that’s why I add to my collection not as religiously.
We were given Summer Quarters off but the person in charge was a do as I say not as I do kind of leader and what I went through would upset Abel and he would call her out on what she did. When I was in middle school, secret handshakes were all the rage and even though I’m not a Bar Mitzvah boy anymore, having one prepared me for all the turmoil I went through in college. When Fuzzy died, the last pearl of wisdom he left with me is to not drop out of college now matter what struggles come my way.
That summer I met Katie Elokhina, Lazaros Koriatopolous, Lex Louw and Tammy Roland. When I first met Katie, she could barely get 4 words out in English and she’s a tokusatsu fan girl all the way in Russia. Both of us are really above average intelligence and act more mature for age bracket. If I had to guess, for her 22nd Birthday she wished for a best friend and I fulfill the role and now her biggest dream is to come to my neck of the woods because I will share my recipes with Katie and since I’ve been volunteering with a non profit for 2 years come thanksgiving, the day we first became friends was August 22, 2010.
Lazaros Koriatopolous is like an older brother to me. He loves to laugh and I have done comedy since I was 16 and my best friend in college, Nelson Amador has become my partner for this project. This is a cooking, talk show, sketch comedy show called laugh your ass-burger off. Laughter brought us close together and my hope is that I’ll come to Greece either on a honeymoon or with some close friends even if they’re family because nothing is more important than that. The Simpsons and Greek Mythology and Philosophy are something that I’ve been fascinated with since I was 13 and you’ll learn about who more about the inspiration for the history of the simpsons blog in another one of Sam’s unsung heroes blog. If I ever come to Greece. I’m doing my comedy and Lazaros having a great sense of humor would love to introduce me in both in Greek and English because when I was in college I was treated like the Americans with Disabilities act of 1990 didn’t exist.
Lex Louw is quintessentially me as an Australian although his body can’t process Chinese Food properly just as mine can’t process Indian food. I used to love it but now any time I eat it, I felt like I did when I was in college. Mexican Food is fair game. If Lex came to Seattle not only would he get a bro hug from Nelson and I. My starting cooking style was Mexican Food and since I now have not one but two Chinese food dishes that I can make, it’s unfortunate that Lex can’t have it but being a comedian, chef and blogger.
Last but not least there’s Tammy Roland. While I might have lost my dog, her father passed away at the start of our friendship Tammy’s requested to have me walk her down the aisle
August 25, 2010 was the 7th Anniversary of my interview on NPR and I found out why David Yost left Power Rangers and I found out before I left on my birthright tour. I’ll let David himself explain:
After fall quarter, I went on a birthright tour of Israel and I met a close friend of mine who was impressed by how much I, Sam, knew about the show despite being a retired fan. Most of the people I talk to are retired as well. My struggles in college are difficult to talk about so that’s why I wanted to talk about Abel and what David Yost experienced and interweave my friendship with Abel and David Yost coming to terms with his own homosexuality into the anger and harassment I had to deal with based on faith in college because I live in Seattle, I have a part-time job and I volunteer but being a comedian who owns his own restaurant is something I wanted to do since I was the target demographic for power rangers. Yost is actually one of the guests my friend and I want to have on the show.
After returning from Israel, this instructor’s name whom I’m omitting for privacy purposes only told me that she believed “All people with Autism are the same” when she said that, I was angry and I was outraged.” Some people with autism can’t even talk. It’s a spectrum. Some people can’t understand jokes or sarcasm. I’ve been out about my diagnosis since I was 16 granted I was a hot headed teenager and that was strike 1 and I’m sure hearing this about Autism, would make Abel upset.
In 2012 I started giving blood and in May 2012, I met Nelson Amador Jr. Nelson’s a much bigger fan of Power Rangers than I was getting the degree we got, I joined the Freshman Mentor team. Fall Quarter 2012 was even worse, Rosh Hashannah was on the Horizon and this same instructor told me that if I wanted to stay on the Freshman mentor team, attendance was mandatory. Abel and I would have both thought this is unconstitutional. He probably would have stood up for me like he did all those years ago. I was still living at home at that point and my mom told me to just go to school.
Throughout my years within my college days this instructor wasn’t the only one giving me grief. I was taken advantage of and when I publish my autistic Jew blog on ideal girlfriend you’ll learn what I’m looking for. The next one will be about the LGBT community. After my breakup, I got heavily involved with student leadership and attended 10 conferences and met one of my college brothers besides Nelson and his name is Alex.
That Summer, I bonded with both Alex & Nelson. The former of the two I won over with my jokes and I can cry in front of him and the harassment I faced in college would make him cringe. The summer before the shul or school choice on Rosh Hashannah, Nelson revealed that he was a pretty big fan of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Power Rangers, I use now as an umbrella term because power rangers has now been around for 25 years. In our conversations Nelson revealed that his end all be all favorite ranger was Jason. Abel has the talents in leadership that would give Jason a run for his money. The good thing after the shul or school fiasco was I did a presentation on super sentai at a college. It wasn’t well received and I was starting to live independently. At least Nelson absorbed the information, so that’s got to count for something.
In 2013, Justin Bieber got on my nerves for what he did at the Anne Frank Museum:
I was 24 when he did this and working towards my college associate’s and I told one of my fellow Jews about this. Bieber’s lucky he doesn’t know who I am. He acted like a 6 year old. In March he’s going to be 25 and Zach Galafanakis did a Funny or die Interview with him calling out Bieber’s pot addiction. I have an idea for a skit in the future but I’m not going to talk about it here since it’s a comedy sketch. Anne Frank never made it to her 18th birthday. My buddy Alex is around the same age Bieber and he’s WAY more mature. I’m going to give him a pass because this is celebrity news and in 2013, I got a pin for donating one gallon of blood and got an individual student award and my friend Katie mentioned in an early paragraph got married. I decided to rename his fanbase. I was thinking like Yoda. You want to call them Beliebers you narcissist? I’ll rebrand them and call them the teenybopper empire! Since the odds of Abel reading this are 100%, I know he’d probably think that Teenybopper Empire is hilarious.
The quarter I was graduating college, the director scheduled a pizza dinner on the first night of Passover. I was living independently, I called my mother and told her what happened. She was furious, Abel would have done what he did best that made him the positive role model he is to me today. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back and because my ex took over our degree and brainwashed all but 4 people, who got the same degree. Mom and I wrote an email to the director and she was unresponsive. Am I still holing a grudge? No. Do I have any respect for her? No. Respect and trust are things that need to be earned. Day after day while I was in this program except during college breaks, it was like watching reruns of power rangers except different. Every dream involved this instructor murdering me for one reason or another and then she would tell the student populous that I committed suicide because I was trying to book my own comedy gigs without her consent. If you read this and you happen to know who I’m talking about, please do NOT leave a comment. This instructor’s name and behavior to me in college was unconstitutional and I’m only omitting her name because when I write about a person who actually exists, if it’s positive then I will mention them by name. If they bullied me, I will call them out on it and
After I graduated, the former friend left the closet and while I applaud his bravery, I sort of put 2 &2 together on my own. I met Alexandra on a bus downtown and looking back Alexandra was a better friend in 2 years than the former friend was in 9. Does the falling out still hurt? Yes, but come February, not so much. to sum up how I feel in another light here’s a flight of the conchords song for you to enjoy.
In 2016, Nelson’s Bichon Firse, Happy passed away and as far as things go, Nelson’s is my younger brother because even at the time I’m writing this blog there’s an unsolved issue that hopefully can be resolved over time. It’s not Nelson, but his parents and that’s private. In April 2016 as though of you who have read my blog know, Alexandra Olson passed away and not only did my former friend tell me to be a man and just forget about her, so did my job coach. I fired him and started volunteering for Bellevue Clubhouse where I met a fellow comic. Even though I have a part time job now thanks to Bellevue Clubhouse, I still enjoy cooking there and being proud of what I can do.
I went to Nelson’s senior night and ran into the director. I tried to be strong but I felt weak because I have a lot of venom against her. She’s one of those people who would only do a job if it pays well. When I was 14, Sure Abel was a paid counselor but there was a real friendship to us that became a brotherhood and even though I’m straight, I miss Abel’s hugs, high fives and how he reacted after I did some comedy at my camp’s talent show. Keep in mind when it was Nelson’s senior night, Alexandra had only been dead for a month and since this instructor treated me like a second class citizen.
After Nelson graduated, I took Nelson on a summer adventure he wouldn’t forget. The four shows he’s enjoyed under my mentorship are Cowboy Bebop, Death Note, Avatar: The Last Airbender and Kaizokou Sentai Gokaiger. Our first stop was Archie McPhee, a joke shop. their website is: http://www.mcphee.com check it out on your own accord. I couldn’t have planned this better, although Nelson and I both love our meat, the Thai Restaurant we went to was vegetarian and anybody who knows the Avatar show, knows that the Air Nomads were vegetarians who had great senses of humor.
Nelson loved watching the Earth Kingdom shtick and I consider myself a modern day avatar. Have I mastered the elements and the avatar state? No. Our summer concluded with a trip to my Aunt and Uncle’s house. As much as I couldn’t stand this director, the courses were ok but my leadership training and the 5 people who helped drag me out of hell’s clutches will learn a witty battle cry that I came up with while attending all the seminars and my abuse was non physical but verbal and went against the constitution, I turned weakness into strength and I’m working on a script called birthright for pets and even though I don’t have the money to fund it, Abel would be proud of me for leading with my heart despite the damage I received in college. Since Abel had a great sense of humor and was very professional and for handling the cards I was dealt he’d probably say, “Sam, I’m glad you were able to let sleeping dogs lie. You were in a difficult situation. However you now have full access to the swear word library. Do what you have to do to let the poison out.”
Abel still has a staunch influence on me. Although he might not have seen me since I was starting high school. There will be another unsung hero blog. Who could it be? Is it someone from Sam’s life? Are they Jewish or not? Find out next time on Sam’s unsung heroes!
To be continued…
Thanks For Reading 🙂